her truth

January 12th 2018

Parting for the night, Sandra looked over her girls who were staying with Diegos mother given he was giving her the night before you don't see the other, for Sandra to then get in get car to leave to start to cry, she really missed her girls with all her heart, going back to there house, Sandra eyed about to then start to deep clean, she had to watch her nails that she just had done, to the living room she made a face has he remembered what happened that day.
After she got her nails done, she returned home for Diego to have received his DACA for him to be the One to say maybe they didn't need to get married after Sandra made a joke about it.
Sandra remembered how he laughed and the fact it was one day away from there wedding, and all the prep work that went into it and the cake his mother had done and everything else. Sandra couldn't do that to everyone who went into this.
Coming back to the living room, Sandra took in a deep breathe to move her hands down to turn to go back into cleaning, she needed to get her mind off of things.
Late that night, Sandra was to her back, to the bed, to be eyeing the ceiling with worry and self doubt about this. She didn't know if she should marry Diego, Sandra felt he was using her for her American citizenship to gain access into this country, she also didn't feel he Loved her.
Sandra made a hard face to then lay to her side to place her hands under her head to look to the wall to start to think about her girls and every thing Diego had been saying to her about this wedding and if it didn't happen she would be breaking up the family. Sandra then placed her hands to her ears to squeeze her eyes tight has Diegos words over the last couple of years and months were getting to her, Sandra had to take in very deep breathes has she started to have a panic attack.
After awhile, Sandra was able to calm down with her music, to drift semi in and out of consciousness, the next morning, she wasent able to sleep, or eat, her one sister them came to do  her make up and hair to talk about a lot of things.
She then went about with a mirror for Sandra to eye, Sandra looked to it to not even see it. Sandra was in a daze, she didn't want this to happen. However she didn't know how to get out of it at all.
Her sister eyed over her.
"Sandra? Are you okay?"
Sandra took in a deep breathe to eye to over her sister with a fake smile.
"I'm fine. This is really good. Um... Can you help me get in my dress?"
Her sister smiled to then go about to get her dress has Sandra eyed herself over the mirror not to recognize herself. Her sister then came back in to talk about how they should have done this before the make up.
Sandra fell quiet too let her sister talk, she was an over talker so this wasn't hard, at the right time, her sister took her in her car for them to go to the court house. This is not at all what Sandra wanted, she never dreamed of getting married in the court house, this didn't feel like a wedding to her, not at all.
Finding parking, they got out to then go about, Sandra went in with her dress, to be slightly wet given it was raining, to then eye her one friend who worked has a security guard there, they made eye contact has she went about for Sandra to be screaming in her head.
Her friend nodded has Sandra went about, going to the area, Sandra looked about to see her other two sister's and her father for Sandra to go to them to hug to have her eyes be screaming to them, it was a scream that was never to be answered.
Sandra talked a bit to her family to then excuse herself to go to the bathroom to have her hands to the counter to be hyperventilating.
She then looked herself in the mirror to see the make up, the hair, the white dress, but she was in misery. Sandra didn't want to get married. Not to Diego, not in the way, that's was when everything Diego said to her went through her mind, Sandra then started to be filled with guilt.
Crying for a moment, Sandra looked up to step back to move those tears away to then take a picture to slowly move her phone down to have her chin quivered. She didn't want this, but was forced to do it.
Sandra took in a very deep breathe to then turn to leave, her sisters went to her to let her know Diego with his mother, step father, sister, brother and the girls were inside. Sandra shook for her one sister brita who eyed over her seriously.
"Sandra?"
Sandra looked to her to have those same screaming eyes.
"Are you.... Okay?"
Sandra darted her eyes.
No! I don't want to do this! I don't want to get married! Not to Diego! This is wrong! I can feel it! Something is so wrong about this but if I don't he can get deported! It'll be my fault if my family is torn apart. It'll be all my fault! This is all my fault and and....
Sandra took in very deep breathes to place on another fake smile.
"I'm fine. Are we all ready?"
Sandra watched her sisters eye the other to then turn to go, while sandras father looked to her while Sandra moved her arm about his.
"You are so beautiful Sandra."
Sandra turned her head to look up at her father who smiled at her for her chin to shake, she then looked forward to take in a deep breathe has it was her father who was pulling her to her true demise.