her truth

days start to blend

After a week in the hospital, Sandra was able to bring her father home, they talked for a bit, however he was really tired, they wouldn't really let him sleep in there. Getting to the home, Sandra had to get his wheel chair given he was so tired, she then went to the back to get her children.
Diego seemed couldn't be bothered to watch the girls so sandra could gather her father, so when they want inside Sandra was surprised he wasn't there, after she helped her father get inside , she then got the girls settled to then text Diego.
Sandra: where are you?
Diego: I'm hanging out with my friends.
Sandra narrowed her eyes.
So your drinking and smoking with your friends instead of being here to clean this mess that I know you made or to watch your children so they didn't need to see my dad this way! Really!
Sandra rolled her eyes to then put her phone away to then go about to start to clean her house.
Sandra was getting tired of this, however talking to Diego about it got her no where, he would never take accountability, always called her lazy and it would then go into an argument. Sandra was getting tired of doing everything and having no time for sleep or help.
After she got done, Sandra was outside to play with the girls to be yawning, she then looked to her phone to see her father texted her from upstairs, he went straight to bed given he was so exhausted, giving her what he wanted to eat, she then went back into the house to do just that.
Has the day then days progressed it was a blur for Sandra, nothing changed, it was the same routine every single day, she would have to take care of the girls, then clean the house 3 to 5 times a day, then have to take care of her father, nights were the worse for her, Sandra most of the time didn't fight against Diego when he forced her to have sex even though she was tired, Sandra would just lay there until he was done, the more of a fight she put herself up with the longer it would take and Sandra needed to sleep.
By Friday night, after they had sex, Sandra was to her side to be wrapped up in the blanket to shake her head has Diego was to the bathroom to have the door closed to be smoking to be laughing and loud at his phone.
Sandra rolled her eyes to then close them to try and go to sleep, she then moved up to groan.
Emily started to cry, she was 5 and she didn't like the dark.
Sandra then got up to go to Emily to try to keep her in the bed, for her to then get up to eye over to see Sarah start to cry in her crib..
"Mommy....I don't want to sleep alone."
Emily then moved her blankets back to then get up to go to her bed, Sandra watched this to sign.
She was trying to get Emily to sleep on her own.
Sandra rolled her eyes to then go to Sarah to grab her gently to then take her to the room has well, Sandra believed the girls needed to be treated fairly.
After getting them in, Sandra got in to then mine her head up to eye down..
Diego came about to see this.
"What are they doing here?"
"Emily started to cry and....
"They need to be in there room."
Sandra narrowed her eyes, his mother and Diego were to blame for this and sandra had to deal with it.
"They're already here so...."
"You need to take them back to the room."
"Diego, I'm tired. Can you?"
Diego scoffed to then turn off the light to then go over the pole to the head of the bed to then go over to go to the wall to place himself under the blankets to mumble to himself to then lay down his back to them, Sandra looked over this to make a hard face.
Nice help you are! You and your mother keep wanting to co sleep and this is where it has lead and now it's my fault!
Sandra grabbed what she could to then go downstairs to go to the couch to sleep, she needed to get away from Diego and she knew the girls would be just fine in the bed.
Downstairs to the couch, Sandra laid to her back to wrap her arms about to look up where she knew her room was.
This is such bullshit! Why do you never help me! They are not just my kids, they are yours too!
Sandras chin started to quiver, she placed her hands to her eyes has tears started to go down her face, she was overly exhausted, used, stressed and treated very poorly. Sandra tried to go with the advice of her therapist on how to handle these situations with Diego but nothing was to be helping. It seemed to make matters worse.
Sandra couldn't help but go more into a cry given what she had to deal with, she was only 28 years old and her life was like this. Sandra at this point really didn't know what to do. No matter how many times she tried to talk to Diego it all wouldn't help, and it would lead to arguments or him gaslighting her or belittling, he even did these things in front of her father who didn't really say anything about it or about her mother which she didn't say anything either.
Sandra felt very trapped in this marriage and she really didn't know what to do anymore.
Sandra then started to take deep breathes to move her eyes away to then turn her body to eye across the room to have a hard face to then close her eyes to not wish the next day was going to come, but it always did.