Agape & Eros

A Decision

Priya in her room is spending a sleepless night. Meera's words are playing in her head again and again. 

Priya can't believe that there will be someone who will prioritize her. Priya thinks to herself, 

"People prioritize themselves always. Nobody cares about others. What maa wants for me is an impossible want for the world only lives for itself. It is selfish to its core. Nobody cares for anybody."

Priya gets up from her bed and goes to the balcony. She knows she is lonely but this loneliness has its own comfort. 

"Being lonely means one less person to impress. One less person to sacrifice for. One less person to have a demand."

"I am a teacher. I am self-sufficient. I can take care of my family on my own. I have settled down. But still, all society cares about is my marriage. When will I marry? Why am I not getting married? Who will marry me? Settling down has only one definition to them- getting married. While I am running away from marriage, I can see my family's struggle. Everybody keeps pestering maa with these questions. Everybody is busy creating their own theory behind me being unmarried."

Priya sighs. She is actually tired of fighting against the world. While she wins at every other fight but she can never shut their mouth. She knows this well. 

"I may continue being adamant about it that this doesn't bother me. But this actually bothers me. How they continue to pester maa- it bothers me. The biggest problem is this may and will create a problem in Sandy's life. Already she has a sister who fled to get married. Society counts this as a stain. My being unmarried will be counted as another problem. And Akki's promise to himself..... Oh God!"

Priya wants to flee society. But there is no escape. She has to face this like she has faced every other problem.

The only solution that comes to her mind is to get married. 

"What's the worse that can happen? I will marry someone like sir. But this world is not full of Mahendra Sood. Maa always says that there are good men. Mama and Akki also belong to the world, na? Also, nobody is forcing me to get married to a stranger. I can choose for myself. I should at least give it a chance, perhaps. Perhaps, it wouldn't be that bad. Perhaps..."

Does she dare to dream? Nobody will ever know. Priya shuts every voice in her mind that dares to dream a beautiful dream. 

But at that moment Priya takes a decision- she will try to "settle down" as per the society's definition of "settling down".