Agape & Eros

Mistake

"Why? Why does everyone value this meaningless adornment so much? Why must I be judged on the basis of my clothing only? Why must they look down upon my family? Is it a crime, to belong to a middle-class family? It's not even their fault. It is how the world perceives everyone. On the basis of the dazzling attire. This is the high society, judging everyone by the colorful clothes they carry on themselves. Just like a parrot adorning itself with colorful leaves. Some bird-brains hold most of the riches of the earth. My hatred for the high society was just. It was a mistake, a huge mistake to marry into this family. I don't know what came over me to take such a decision."

Priya was fuming in anger when she entered her room. She was cursing herself for marrying into the Kapoor family. Ram approached her with the saree and jewelry. 

Ram- Priya, I remembered. I wanted to give you these. 

Priya- What are these? 

Ram- A nice attire to wear at Shivi's wedding. It's a...

Priya- Do you also think I have nothing to wear to her wedding? That my clothes aren't dazzling enough to wear at an event?

Ram- When did I say that? 

Priya- Mr. Kapoor, you don't need to say. Your action is saying it. So, even you think that I am not fit for your family. 

Ram- I've never said that. You are getting me wrong. 

Priya- Absolutely not. My mind is clearer than ever. I don't know what came upon me and I took such a wrong decision. It's a mistake. It's a mistake. 

Ram- What is a mistake, Priya? 

Priya- Marrying you. Marrying you was a huge mistake. Marrying into this...

Ram- A mistake? So, I am a mistake for you. Even for you, I am a mistake. 

Ram's voice became heavy. He put the saree and necklace on the bed. 

"Glad to know that," Ram said in a calm but heavy tone and left the room.

After Ram left the room, Priya sat down on the bed. Her anger and frustration started to subside. Ram's words played in her mind. 

"Even for you..."

"I am a mistake."

"But I didn't mean that. I meant marrying into this family," Priya thought.

"This family comes with him. It doesn't matter what you intended to mean. It means choosing Ram was a mistake," her inner voice replied. 

Priya felt a pang of guilt as she realized how her words came out. 

"Even for you..."

Ram's words kept ringing in her ear. 

For her, was he ever a mistake? Not his family, not his money, not his socioeconomic status. Just him. Not Mr. Kapoor but Ram, only Ram. Was he ever a mistake? 

"Never", Priya recalled all the moments they laughed together. How he decided to call her mother maa. How he was concerned about her mother. How he treated her family just as his own. His support came as a blessing in her life. Support- that came at such a time and from such a person that was beyond her imagination. Support- that was like a warm blanket. She remembered he was the first person out of her family to have called her beautiful, both inside and out. 

How could she misinterpret his intentions? She didn't even let him speak. 

Most importantly how could she call him a mistake? 

Priya chided herself. She remembered how Ram once apologized for calling her "khadoos". She remembered how he opened up to her. How he accepted that he felt challenged and that was not right. How he accepted his shortcomings. She decided to apologize to Ram. She too wanted to open up to him at that moment. But she struggled as she is not good at expressing her feelings. She left the room in search of Ram. In her mind, she kept thinking about how to explain her thoughts and how to apologize.