Agape & Eros

The Unfortunate Past

Ram couldn't sleep well the whole night. 

The whole night he kept tossing and turning, while Priya slept like a baby. 

After midnight, when Priya seemed to be in a deep sleep, Ram leaned toward her. A single strand of her hair was on her face. He kept his hand over the pillow Priya was lying on. He wrapped his hand around her gently and moved the strand from her face. Priya moved in sleep. Perhaps she had felt his presence. She snuggled into his arms. Her hand unknowingly clutched his kurta. Her face hid into his chest. 

Ram smiled a bit seeing his wife clinging onto him. He tightened the hug. He remembered her words. 

"Mujhe kabhi bhi bina gham ke khushi naseeb hi nahi hui."

"Mujhe bolna nahi aata, par ye sach hain. Mujhe aap se pyaar ho gaya."

"aapki pyaar ke bina mein ek din bhi soch sakti."

"Aapki jin aakhon me mujhe aaj tak sirf pyaar dikhai di, mere liye varosa dikhai di, waha aaj gussa, nafrat aur shak dekhne ki himmat mujhe nahi ho rahi hain, Ram. "

"Mein sab kuch bataungi aap ko. Andhere me nahi rakh sakhte na aapko. Par kaal."

Every words of her played Ram's head.

"You love me. I should be happy about last night, Priya. Finally, you have said those three words I was dying to hear from you. But, why are you so afraid? What are you going to tell me tomorrow that might change my feelings for you? Are you still unsure about my affection for you? Can't you trust my love for you? But you said that you trust me. Then what is it that you want to tell me, Priya? How cruel is that truth? What is that truth?", Ram thought in his mind. 

A crippling anxiety clouded his mind. He tightened the embrace and buried his face into Priya's hair. Her soft skin, the fragrance of her hair, and her heartbeat calmed him. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep again. But his slumber broke again and again. 

When the night sky finally became tinted with the first ray of sun, he got up and sat beside Priya. He put a gentle kiss on her forehead and then engaged his mind into work.

After a few hours Priya woke up with a splitting headache. Ram look towards her after listening her painful voice.

Priya- Ah! my head. 

As soon as she woke Ram's heart thumped.

"The next day has arrived, Priya..."

Though he was scared he decided to act normal. 

Ram- Not so good morning, ha? 

Priya looked at Ram holding her head. 

Priya- Is it morning already? 

Ram- Of course. Wait, did you forget about our last night?

Ram spoke while walking towards her. He sat in front of her. She looked at him. His emphasis on "our last night" sounded weird. She tried to understand the meaning of that looking straight into Ram's eyes. His eyes were a bit teary but he had a naughty and playful smile on his face. This duality of emotions made her confused. 

Priya- I can't remember anything. I remember getting ready and then Shivi had made a drink, so I drank that. Then I went to the garden. Everybody was there, so were you. And I...

Ram- Rukh kiu gayi? Yaad aya kya kia hain apne?

Priya remembered what she did in front of everyone. She couldn't believe herself. Her eyes wide with astonishment, looked somewhere else to avoid Ram's eyes.