Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 7: Down on Sunset Part 3

We entered the building, unbothered.... Despite being recognized, Nikki and I left to ourselves, we found a pool table towards the back and Nikki disappeared for a few minutes, me feeling strangely worried. In hindsight it wasn't so strange after all.... Nikki returns with two frosty mugs of beer, and I realize that the song on the Jukebox has changed...to an Aerosmith song, 'Kings & Queens' to be exact.

I raise an eyebrow at Nikki as he hands me a mug of beer, I must admit I am a little amused. "An Aerosmith song huh?"

Nikki smirks, shrugging after taking a swig of beer. "I thought it fitting considering the company I find myself in and I put a lot of change into that fucker, so we're gonna rock and I am gonna cream you."

I down some beer and smirk widely, "Well I am honored, and you are forgetting something. Here I get to school YOU...much more experience with a.... pool stick." Nikki rolls his eyes, though I see a blush tinting his cheeks. We do manage to caulk our pool sticks and after some (a lot of debate) I break and Nikki gapes at me....

"Consider me schooled."

"Oh, you this? This is nothing." I smirk, taking another swig of beer and so it goes, we play for a while, and I of course did indeed 'school' Nikki....at pool as it were and before taking a break, the both of us not drunk but tipsy. We can hold our booze well.... for a time anyway and we chat while each nursing a fresh mug of beer. We did end up getting drunk, Nikki having drunk more than I did.... but both of us as it would turn out would end up paying for it and nah, I don't mean sex...not at this point, but believe me you that's coming along with the shit hitting the fan and me losing Nikki for what I believed then would be for all time. He was and IS a drug I could and can never quit....

"So, um I am glad you've had a good time tonight." Nikki states awkwardly looking down into his mug as if it contained the secrets of the universe and mutters in an aside that he doesn't mean for me to hear but hear I do, and it puts me on edge. "—He'll make me pay for this." There is NOTHING I would love more than to tear that fucker...doc I believe it is apart. I don't want to drive Nikki off if I say something, damn it Joe.... taking the coward's way out and then there are YOUR own demons you've yet to conquer.

Nikki stiffens, holding back tears if I didn't know better but otherwise doesn't say anything until, "Joe? Um Doc..." Nikki cringes not that I blame him saying the name. "---Give you any t-trouble?"

"I think he's afraid of me, but not afraid enough to get the message to leave you the fuck alone. I see how he is with you...I..."

Nikki interrupts voice hard, "DON'T. You wouldn't understand and you'll only make things worse. Sides its not like you understand what I've gone thru." I did, and only all too well, sure I was abused by pasts partners mentally and physically. Nikki though it was so much worse than I could ever have imagined. He would come January 87' every right to be angry with me, I wasn't truly there for him...I didn't consider his feelings, too wrapped up in my own problems and I didn't see until it was too late that really, he was trying to protect ME, and I didn't help shit in the least.

There is a tension in the air rising with each passing moment until I manage to say hoping to not trigger Nikki any more than I have...

"I meant what I told him and you that day, he will come to regret fucking you over, hurting you."

Nikki's expression softens a bit, the tension slowly dissipating. "You're just trying to help I know, sorry to be an asshole and ruin things."

"You're not being an asshole Nikki Sixx. You're not ruining anything. I promise."

We quit talking for a bit, finishing our current round of drinks before shooting pool once again, we play all night and both of us are very much drunk and soon dawn is breaking, and Nikki is loathe to part with his motorcycle, but he doesn't have much choice and I think...not sure but its maybe an off day in the studio? I hope.... I HOPE.

By some miracle I am awake, somewhat...Nikki however is not, and someone takes pity on the both of us and calls for a cab, yet I have no clue where Nikki lives until I look at his driver's license. I would and I to this day don't remember finding a key under his mat, carrying him inside and laying him on his couch, yet somehow, I did, and I also don't remember the following I am fixing to say to Nikki, things were fragmented but I would come to dream of it all......

Waiting now I think on that cab, me barely knowing my own name and I look down at the man that I seem to be holding in my arms not knowing really what I am doing, brushing some hair behind his ear.

"What did he do to you? I-I-I'm gonna fuck em' up. I swear Nikki.... you don't deserve it baby, y-you don't."

The Cab comes....and somehow Nikki is laid on the couch in his house and I don't know how the HELL.... I managed to get back to my apartment, which is where I am now, desperate to become one with my covers.

"---Oh fuck...." I moan, my head beginning to pound...and fighting back nausea, so I speed crawl to what I think is my bathroom and spend an eternity puking, before crawling literally my way to the sink, cleaning my self off....still swaying manage to again crawl my way into the shower....a cold one, that sobers me up somewhat before AT LAST I become one with my covers and I seem to be naked, closing my eyes groaning, everything too loud suddenly and finally I drift off and I dream and damn is it scary....

Everything seems to be surreal.....time has passed it seems, me desperate to SEE Nikki again, him dying....and it's my fault, I find myself at his house....it's cold, there is no light inside or out and I in my desperation break down the door, running in screaming Nikki's name, I run around everywhere my heart pounding  looking for him as I then run upstairs and find a room, I take to be Nikki's...door slightly ajar and my heart DROPS and stops a moment both as I take in the room...

The carpet, littered with bottles of Jack and drug paraphernalia....and I see a trail of blood, Nikki's blood that leads to the closet and I fear what I am fixing to find....in a flash I find, Nikki slumped against the wall of the closet, a gun at his side....a fresh wound on an arm riddled with needle marks and a syringe empty of heroin, I take him in my arms, sobbing...panicking, screaming...

"I am sorry!! Nikki...please, PLEASE WAKE UP!!" Nikki is slowly turning an alarming shade of blue..., "THIS IS MY FAULT .MY FAULT.... NIKKI...NIKKI BABY PLEASE.... WAKE UP!!" I try desperately to get him to respond, I call an ambulance still holding desperately to Nikki, him dying in my arms....my heart fading before me and next thing I know we're in an ambulance and they call time of death and I nearly lose it, till the paramedic declares Nikki Sixx isn't dying in his ambulance and two shots of adrenaline straight to Nikki's heart and my eyes widen, as he wakes with a gasp not knowing where he is, freaking the fuck out not that I blame him.

"I gotta get out of here!! Let me go...let me go..." He sobs as they hold him down and they sedate him but not before he turns to me, eyes wide seeing but not SEEING, still he says MY name not knowing that I am real or maybe he DOES. "Joe.... Joe.... sorry......so.... sorry."

The dream begins to fade as I wake up disoriented....and feeling a sense of loss and fear.

A/N: What exactly has Doc done or is doing to Nikki? We shall find out in time, drama, a vision perhaps of the future and part 3 of Nikki and Joe's hang out aka the unofficial date. Next chapter the drama just may step up and then the following Joe's first steamy dream that is of Nikki will come to pass.