Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 1: Same Old Story, Same Old Song & Dance

The more things change the more they stay the same.... How the hell did my life turn out like it did? Doing every drug under the sun, being abused physically, HURT time after time to NOW, Aerosmith being sent out to California of all places.... a fresh start, a new album...which I have been writing Feverishly for AND having to deal with my former lover or fuck buddy Steven Tyler......so yeah, I am 'sober' as far as drugs go, still have my issues with booze and that's an open secret if you will. Still, take what you can get....

I groan with my eyes closed, I'd went for an early morning run/work out for some peace and crawled back in bed afterwards, but NOW my damn phone is ringing.

I answer, praying its not Steven...my voice gravely and deep...the dreams I had of a mysterious raven-haired figure fading.... It was Nikki of course; I didn't realize that then.

"What?" Exhaling now in relief that its not Steven, its Brad...

"Good morning to you too." Brad chuckles before sounding concerned, "You, ok? Stupid question I know, I was calling to remind you I was coming to pick you up? But I highly suspect that this has to do with Steven, dealing with him...a former 'lover'." Of course, Brad has hit the proverbial nail on the head....and, he's like the Yoda of Aerosmith if you will, wise beyond his years as I have always told him since he is the youngest in the band.

I sigh heavily, sitting up more in bed...., "Yeah.... its I mean it's been what at least 7 years since our so-called relationship ended, but.... i mean we were called the 'toxic twins' for a reason besides the drugs, we are toxic for each other. Not to mention that Steven is hell bent on this new album and our comeback, which yeah, it's my life's work, yes, I KNOW what it means to us all, but even I KNOW that's not all there is." I find myself saying, yet unable to admit what I really mean which is I am lonely and a small part, very small part really hopes that the upcoming changes will be a good thing.

"Joe..." Brad begins, "You are searching for something or SOMEONE..." I freeze at these words, "—You've been thru hell I know with those bitches and Elyssa especially and yes even Steven. Steven has a good heart somewhere in there, so do you...YOU DO have one you know, but I am telling you.... You can't hide your emotions or your heart forever, you'd shut out not just the bad but the good. I'll be over soon, you packed? And we can talk more."

"Y-Yeah.... yeah, I'm packed.... need to get dressed and ok." I mutter a few more words, trying desperately to hold back the tears and as soon as I have the phone in its cradle, I break down....

Why, why...does he have to be right? Why DOES some small part of me still hold out hope for something that doesn't exist or just exists in my fantasies? And why does it have to hurt so much?

Everything is riding on this comeback, there's a lot of pressure and of course I WANT Aerosmith to succeed.... It's just, deep down I want it ALL, but maybe for now I'll settle for California, and these new changes and go from there.

I do have a good cry, before making my self presentable and the next thing I know is Brad picks me up and I find myself on a plane with him, and our bandmates and Steven...and the tension immediately begins to rise.

"Perry."

I grunt, "Steven."

"Good day to you too Mr. Moody pants."

I glare, "I'd watch yourself.... it's still TOO early for this shit."

"What are you gonna do?" Steven smirks, and I smirk widely. Another open secret, Once the band got back together.... i started to prank Steven, all I know is it may be petty as fuck, but Oh So fun to do and watch.

"Oh, you'll see..." I trail off sing-songing practically and am rewarded with his face paling, talk about priceless.

Tom and Joey are practically rolling at the look on Steven's face, Brad is trying so hard not to laugh and the tension in the atmosphere is Broken at least the 'outward' tension.

"So, California huh? The bad boys from Boston are gonna get some sun." Joey grins.

Steven huffs, "That's not all we're gonna get...."

I interrupt, "Oh I know what you will get.... now, since you seem to be a lightning rod for gossip what do you know about Electra and all?"

"First of all, it's not gossip, its 'gathering information' and secondly, its Mӧtley Crϋes record company, they are WAY wilder than we ever were. Still into drugs, so I don't know how this will go if we must deal with them. I..."

Tom cuts Steven off this time, "You worry too much, you'll live and besides it wasn't that long ago we were all off our fucking rockers so to speak, so maybe it would do US some good. We can't judge them man, that's all I am saying."

Oh, those words of Tom's would come back to bite, HARD......

We do end up getting down to actual business, discussing of course the album, Electra, Steven having an argument with our management about something or other, which honestly, I can't blame him for that, notes are made and compared and even the early drafts if you will for a tour the next year for an album are made and all the while in the back of my mind that Raven haired figure never leaves.....

And I find my self staring out the window staring at the world below and feel like life is rushing by me, yet I am standing or flying as it were in place.... moving but not truly MOVING.

It's the same old story, the same old song and dance my friends.... things change yet stay the same...an emotionally stunted and broken man I am, Brad's words, Tom's...Brad's especially are running thru my head on repeat, I don't know if that means something, if any of that does. I don't see a way out right now, its better not to get hurt.... How do you heal, open to someone when time after time you tried and were literally knocked down for your efforts? How? Maybe its disillusionment, maybe it's all my head....

All I truly know in this moment is that I feel fate comes knocking and I am hoping, hoping that the band makes it, becomes the legends I know we can be and are MEANT to be. Change is coming, is happening now and THAT I can't fight at least not totally.

I remember that flight to California very well, insults.... wise words, business...gossip, you name it and I especially remember my thoughts. I remember that first glimpse of LA...the so called "City of Angels" .... unaware that I would soon meet one, a fallen one.... a perfect in my eye's angel: Nikki. Again, I didn't see any of this back then, didn't know it was him that I was dreaming of, I didn't put two and two together for obvious reasons and for a long time until it was too late, and it was almost to late for all time.

There are lots more to come in this epic tale, so hang on and grab on tight....

A/N: YES!!! Chapter 1 and the prologue are now complete, and I do so hope everyone enjoys reading this!!