Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 84: A Rock & Roll Christmas Part 3

My poor oldest girl, still struggling so....it breaks my heart, God does it break my heart. I wish, I wish I could take away her pain. I'd do anything, anything and I hope to God what happened to Josephine doesn't happen to Amara, it won't.... I would die before she and her older sister are hurt and or hurt again. Right now, though? It beautiful, its bitter-sweet.... Josephine needed time to herself after all our naps, and though I hate the idea of her being alone...well physically that is, she is NEVER truly alone and I more than understand. But again, right now? Here all of us are in the kitchen and TOGETHER, ME....my husband, and our daughters fixing Christmas dinner: a veritable feast of Italian favorites such as: Pomodoro pasta, linguine with clams (no shells for the girls), a caprese salad, and more. I really, wanted to make it special....

I feel now, two precious arms wrapped around me, and I find myself looking down into the eyes of Josephine, and I feel more than I see Nikki and I hear Amara asking if I am ok and I realize my face is wet....

"You look like you need hugs daddy...." She trails off looking sad before saying, "I-Is it cause m-me?" Her eyes fill with tears, and she doesn't let me go....

"Honey...oh honey I am SO sorry to make you cry! It's...just I hate seeing you in pain, I'd do anything to take it away. And, I hope what's happened and is happening to you doesn't happen to your sister or you again, I know it won't....I'd die before letting either of you be hurt again, and I understand more than understand you wanting alone time, I just hate the idea of you being all by yourself physically like with either, me or mommy or your sister.... but then I think of US: here. All of us together, and none of us are ever truly alone. It's not your fault, don't ever think it is...I can see you think so in your eyes...we will get thru this...all of us together."

"Ok daddy...I. I...love you." She whispers.

"I love you too." Squeezing her gently......and then Amara wants to give me lots of hugs and kissies and I continue to make dinner, along with Nikki.... Amara on my hip. Josephine asks if its ok if she gets her bee-bee and asks Nikki to go with her and they aren't gone long....

At some point, Nikki kisses me fiercely just letting me feel him.... him just being my rock, my anchor grounding me, really, we ground one another and before I know it, dinner is done.... Potty breaks are taken, and we all sit down together, first dishing up child sized portions for our precious, precious little girls before Nikki and I, get food for ourselves and we talk once settled....and I help my precious twin Amara eat her food....

"Tasty daddy!" Amara declares.

I can't help but chuckle, "Daddy is glad you think so."

"It's the love, so much love..." Nikki says reverently, voice husky due to the onset of tears. "—It's the most powerful feeling, ya know?" Nikki turns to me, "It's YOUR love that saved me Jo-Jo Bear, it's always been YOU." He whispers.

"It is.... honeybee, it is, and my greatest regret was not telling you and realizing that sooner..." This last part I whisper. "I would save you over and over."

We kiss, having our moment, eat some more and then Josephine moves us ALL with....

"I love seeing you and mommy in love daddy...it gives me.... i think hope. I sad lots and lots and still trying to get better, but I have you.... I have Mara' and lots of family. I made new memories, lots and you make Christmas special. I have the bestest parents and sissy ever! I love everyone an' Merry Christmas!"

"Oh.... sweetie..." Is all I manage to get out, touched to my core. "THANK YOU and you are the sweetest little bee; both my girls are. I love you too, so much and Merry Christmas."

I feel Nikki squeeze my hand and I squeeze back, because I KNOW before Nikki replies to our oldest daughter, "You wanna hear a little story?"

An eager little nod and an enthusiastic 'Wes' aka yes from my precious little twin: Amara.

"What you said about how you love seeing your father and I in love reminds me of what I told him when we became a true couple or were becoming one.....I'd told him he talked about how much he loved seeing me happy, so I told him that I loved seeing HIM happy and in love.....it just made him even more beautiful and amazing to me. So, my point is: I love being with my family, seeing my children happy, your smiles.... just YOU. I love all parts of you, and I love all parts of daddy. Merry Christmas."

We continue to eat....and there is laughter, there are more tears....and more importantly there is: US. Eventually we do finish eating, and even with Amara being helped she STILL made a huge mess and so did Josephine. But I wouldn't trade those beautiful messes for the world....

Ultimately it decided for the girls' baths to come first, lots of bubbles and splashing, lots of giggles and soon enough two special, SO special little girls are bathed and dried and dressed in their little nightgowns. Josephine, somehow manages to hold her menagerie: Ollie, Berry, Bee-Bee, 'Jo-Jo Bear' and she insisted, Amara wants her teddy bear and so we make our way downstairs, Nikki and I helping the girls.....and we all cuddle up on the couch together, watching one of Amara's Disney movies....each of us huddled under a cozy blanket, or rather Josephine and Amara are in between Nikki and I, and Josephine decides to hold bee-bee while her other stuffed toys are placed nearby.

At some point in all this or during the evening, the kitchen was cleaned......leftovers stored, if you just so happen to be wondering.... anyway....

"Daddy, love Kimmas' and food an' sissy.... ew an' mommy!" Amara declares grinning up at me before doing the same to her mother and sister.

"We love you too, so much and I am glad you enjoyed the food.... did you have a good Christmas?" I ask her.

"Wes!"

"I did too daddy cause I am HOME with family, that loves me no matter what." Josephine says seriously, lovingly all at once.

I am glad you are home Josephine, where you belong.... where you are safe and where you DESERVE to be, where you are so very loved. I and your mommy, and your little sister will always no matter what love you and be with you always, always....

The girls ended up falling asleep early that Christmas night....and Nikki and I carried them upstairs, lingering a bit in each of their rooms, just making sure they were ok, and Nikki and I had hot, passionate shower sex once back in our bedroom, so there I said it....and we also made slow sweet love that night too. I can never nor could I ever get enough of Nikki. Christmas as I said though, was bitter-sweet it was everything and the new year aka 1994 would be a busy, fulfilling, and amazing year. No matter what my husband and I had going on, make no mistake our children came first. A slight spoiler you already have heard of Nikki and are expanding our family in a way that we never could have imagined and there just maybe other surprises in store as well....

A/N: Part 3 is now done, and next chapter we will get an introduction to 1994 told from the present day, so stay tuned!