Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 91: Moments that Last Forever Part 4

Looking back, I remember that break so well....it was everything, that first break: it was sweet, bitter-sweet, loving, sad.... every emotion, you name it I felt it. Days passed all too quickly, after my first day/night home. Days filled with taking care of my daughters and of my unborn triplets and especially my Honeybee Nikki. Nikki, I will tell you did end up getting a handle on the morning sickness while in the hospital. Thank God for that, it scared him I think since it was far worse than with his other pregnancies with our girls. Nikki only grew no lie, more and more beautiful. He was really fucking glowing. It wasn't easy though, with his hormones and everything really hit him hard in some ways. I remember him crying asking me one night, "W-Will you still love me when I am so FAT.... I'M REALLY gonna be HUGE and it kind of scares me." My heart broke at his sobs, and I told him seriously and lovingly both that, "Nikki.... honeybee, you aren't fat. I know it scares you and things may be much more difficult for you down the line but know this: I love you, ALL of you...in any SHAPE, way or form. You turn me on so bad all the time, no lie that it HURTS in the best way."

And when you find us, it's just Nikki and i...everyone insisted on us taking time for just us and we'd just finished having sex, yes you read that right....

Nikki and I managed by some miracle to keep quiet as we had passionate sex in the shower of his room, he needed me bad he told me and I in turn had to 'show off' as he would say but now my poor husband, who is exhausted from our session and carrying our triplets is in tears breaking my heart as I hold him to me pausing in cleaning him off....

"Nikki? What's wrong Honeybee? W-Was I too rough or...." A thought strikes as now I realize EXACTLY what has Nikki upset, "---Is it because I have just a few more days till I go back on tour? And its also because, you feel overwhelmed and insecure, and I imagine it scares you shittless knowing you have no choice really in the birth." Nikki only cries harder, clinging to me and refusing to look at me. Gently, I tilt his face up caressing it, "Baby, I hate to see you cry..." I whisper.

"You.... you.... we're amazing beyond amazing as...as always.... but yes, you're right. I already fucking miss you Joe and you're still here. I mean I KNOW what I said, and I meant it, mean it.... but still, this is hard as fuck. I'm finally really starting to gain the weight I need for the triplets and my thighs are even BIGGER. Its.... it's just a lot right now, I know I'm not alone and you always take care of me even when we're not together and all. And the birth? I HATE that I cant do it naturally like with Amara and Josephine, I know why and that its medically necessary and of course I want the babies to be healthy and safe and myself included.... it's just that I have these fears about being numb and the drugs."

I finish cleaning Nikki off and I carry him carefully, iv's and all back to bed and make him as comfortable as possible, kissing him everywhere especially his swollen stomach housing our triplets and we managed to trade kisses, me knowing he needs this right now and I take his hands in mine and caress them before I at last give my husband a more proper response to what he said just a bit ago....

"Nikki, I know on one hand EXACTLY how you feel and on the other I can well imagine. But I miss you too, God do I fucking miss you on the road.... the way your body molds to mine, the way you feel in my arms but then, then I remember that I have you and you've given me so much: 2 daughters and our three unborn. It's hard honeybee, it IS but we've got the greatest family and support in the world. We are not and will not be alone in this. I know that all of this is overwhelming as hell babe and Nikki?" I pause a moment, placing a hand on his stomach gently rubbing it before one of his hands joins with mine, "---You ONLY you turn me on so bad all the time, I can't think straight especially when you're pregnant. I truly love you no matter the shape, size or form. As for the numbness, the drugs they'll have to use. Nikki, we both know what its like to be numbed by drugs, but I have complete faith in you that you can do this and not becoming addicted. I swear on my life, I will do everything in my power to make sure you and the triplets are born safe, that you will be OK."

Nikki looks at me eyes wide and tear-filled, his eyes though are filled with a mix of awe and love, such LOVE.

"Joe...." His voice trembles, "---I love you; I love you so damn much." That right there says it ALL to me.... I lean in and claim his lips and the world disappears around us, afterwards Nikki yawns hugely struggling to stay awake.

"Get some sleep Honeybee, I am right here and while you sleep, I'll see you in your dreams." I whisper.

"Jo-Jo Bear...I love you."

"I love you too Nikki, so much." I whisper and moments later he is asleep, and I am unable to tear myself away, one of my hands still resting on his stomach and I speak to my three unborn children whispering, "Hey in there.... It's daddy. I hope you know how much I love you three, how much I love ALL my children. You are getting the most amazing, beautiful mother and you are so very loved. I must leave in a few days and go back on the road, and I want you to know: if you need me, I will come running and know that I am always here for you and am gonna love you and take care of you no matter where I am in the world. And I can't wait for you three to meet your older sisters, they are so excited and so am I."

The remaining few days I had on that first tour break, every moment was spent with Nikki, with our children......and God, was it hard for us to leave one another physically. He cried, I cried.... We all did really, but we knew no matter what we had one another. I called, I sent Nikki and the kid's letters while on the road. I took care of them as best I could, even from afar. It meant so much to them, and it meant so much to me. and since Nikki worried about walking up and down the stairs so much at home, I put in an elevator to make it easier on him and make him feel safer among other things and I would do anything for him because he is my everything, my greatest addiction.

A/N: A chapter of just Nikki and Joe, next chapter Joe is back on tour with Aerosmith, and it will be from Nikki's POV, stay tuned for more!