Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 85: A Guide to 1994 (Present Day)

Christmas 93' as you now know was bitter-sweet, nearly tragic or rather it could have been.... you name it. Too there were moments of such joy, moments of laughter through the tears and oh those tears they came. The point of it all is that my oldest daughter, Josephine was back where she belonged...where she deserved to be, surrounded by a family that loved her. And that brings us now into 1994, well more officially that is:

A new year, meant a new start and it meant a year that would bring about:

A world tour for Aerosmith, a new album for Mӧtley (which my husband and his band would work on from our home studio with Adler producing, I mean naturally), Rehearsals for Aerosmith which ended up happening or starting after mine and Nikki's wedding anniversary of May 10( Kids had a baby sitter and we went WILD, Nikki and I.....and that is when he would become pregnant with what we initially thought was our third child but turned out to be triplets), Nikki doing gallery shows featuring his photography, his art. I was and am so damn proud of him, but moreover I am HIS. So that's a summation of work-related projects if you will, well sort of.

I'd like to backtrack and talk about what the dawn of 1994 meant for my family, especially my oldest daughter: Josephine. Josephine struggled even more so initially entering January 94', because that meant she had to face the possibility of going back to school. She had panic attacks, freaked me and Nikki the fuck out.... She wrote in her diary, read Nikki's, asked us questions about our pasts and gradually she truly began to get better. And it meant she did at last go back to school in the middle or towards the end of January. She did her schoolwork from home for a bit and once she did go back well, she had her moments, but she had Bobby Mars, Jackson Neil-Tyler and she went always with her 'gut' as she would tell us. All told it took her months after her kidnapping to fully heal, but she got there, and she was not alone, EVER. I was so proud of her, being so brave, asking for help and really it helped Nikki and I as well.

As for Amara? She continued to grow, learning new words or i.e. an ever-expanding vocabulary, she turned 2...2 years old September 5, 1994, and of course her older sister would be 6 on November 15, 1994. Amara more and more stuck to her older sister or rather I should say by her older sister's side then, she was very close and still is.... All my children are the point is Amara was hit hard at such a young age with what had happened to Josephine. And Amara naturally following Josephine was fascinated by my playing guitar, and her older sister....so when Amara turned 4, I began to teach her as well.

Then the tour of 94' happened and the dates came after Josephine and the other school age kids were out of school and I remember well Nikki was supposed to have joined me with the girls that tour about 2 weeks into it and that didn't happen since we found out he was pregnant with triplets and his morning sickness would be fucking rough to say the least....i nearly, and Aerosmith nearly canceled or pushed back the tour dates but Nikki insisted knowing he wasn't alone even though things were as difficult as FUCK for him and I remember him telling me, "Joe....my honeybee, I am scared as fuck....i feel like absolute shit, but we're expanding our family, I'd do this for no one else but YOU. I want you to do what you love, and you are always with me in heart and spirit. And besides, you guys worked it out too where you play a few weeks and then home like 2 weeks. Course it kills me to be apart, but I know my limits now and I will have our family behind me." He was very much right, still it wasn't easy being apart from my loved ones. God it was hard, it was hard on all of us...especially me and Nikki, but as he told me we weren't alone, we had everyone behind us.

Still hard as it was, it was SO rewarding, not necessarily the tour which was really a bonus. The reward if you will be our families were thriving, our children were growing and our lives oh so much richer, bonds made stronger......

The other children: Jackson turning 3, Tommy Lee's Daughter with Steven Adler turning 4, Bobby Mars who was 5....it hit all of us hard just how fast they were growing, and they were close to one another, which really meant and does so much.

1994 besides expanding my family with Nikki, our careers and all also meant the bitter and bitter-sweet moments came for our extended family as well, in particular: Steven Adler-Lee. Poor Stevie as everyone'd come to call him, well Guns'N' Roses had wrongly of course fired Adler, abused him as we'd come to find, and the point here is there was a confrontation between Stevie and his former bandmates and Tommy Lee gave them HELL and that is polite. Tommy beat the shit out of the lead instigator Axl and fought hard to get Steven the money he was owed and justice he so rightfully deserved.

It killed Tommy especially to see Stevie so sad, I remember well him having said, "It kills you dude, it kills ME, and I understand even more now how you felt Joe with what Doc, Deana and Doug did to Nikki.... still, I'd defend Stevie over and fucking over.... I'd die for him, for our children...." As it turns out, Nikki and I weren't the only ones that would expand our family, the Adler-Lee clan would also expand, meaning Stevie Adler-Lee would be 2 months ahead of Nikki in his pregnancy by the time June 94' rolled around.

I should mention too that, I hadn't been more fucking glad for a tour to be over or felt so since that ill-fated tour in 87' to be DONE with the 1994 tour for Aerosmith, breaks or no. I just wanted, no felt I needed to be there for my husband and our children in person, not just in spirit.

So, where you will next find me is on the road with Aerosmith worried out of my mind over Nikki who was supposed to have already arrived with Josephine and Amara on June 22, 1994, and whom I also hadn't heard from only further worrying me and of course you already know WHY but you will officially 'see' why.

My arms now as I relate to you this rock'n' roll tale pull closer to me my soulmate, the man whose been at my side for all these years: Nikki, my husband Nikki-Perry Sixx, resting his head on my chest now murmuring....

"I remember that it was a huge fucking shock to me.... Well to both of us, I mean I could FEEL how worried you were, you very nearly canceled your tour. I mean, I understood WHY but I couldn't let you do that, I know I and our children were and are more important BUT I knew my limits, I was scared shittless, felt like shit, but I KNEW I wasn't alone....i asked for help and I knew you'd take care of me no matter where in the world you were and you'd come back to me. Was it easy? No. But it only made our love stronger, and I'd have done that for one else in this world but YOU."

Gently I tilt his face up, my voice choked from the impending tears., "I LOVE YOU.... god do I love you. You are my other half Nikki, always have been even when I didn't see that." I capture his lips now and the world around us disappears....

A/N: Was going to do this as a two parter, but ended up going with just one so next chapter we will officially dive into 1994!