Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 43: Happy Birthday Jo-Jo Bear (Nikki POV)

By now, you know what's happened so far in mine and Joe's love story, which is nothing short of epic. I am taking the reins for this chapter here in our tale, on a very special date: September 10, 1988, my Jo-Jo Bears 38th birthday and it also marked my 7th month of pregnancy with our first child, our daughter Josephine, and that is what you will see here. However, before I get to that.... I wanna talk about the impact Joe has had and still does on my life, to talk of HIM my other half. I of course am, as you know me famously by today: Nikki Perry-Sixx, not just Nikki Sixx. You've heard about my shitty childhood, and that's being POLITE, believe it or not. Frank Feranna died long ago and from the ashes rose Nikki Sixx, it took me a hell of a long time to accept my former self. My journey to become who I was, was a long.... painful and hard road. You know the story, a lifetime of being abused, being abandoned time and again. The drugs, the band.... being told I was trash, believing that. I believed once, and THAT is hard to believe that it would always be that.... until Joe. When we met in 86' I didn't want to see or believe that around him, I felt safe.... I did Heroin less, I felt normal, but I didn't trust it. Doc didn't help matters, but Joe? He turned everything around, in the end he got through to me and I faced that my greatest addiction was and is him and without him, I wouldn't be alive today. I love him beyond what mere words can express, he's done things no one had ever done until him and he taught me what love was and I in turn taught him....... really, we saved one another, from not only our painful pasts but from a lifetime of loneliness and learning that we deserved to be loved....

Now on with the show....

It's hard for me to believe a lot of times that THIS is my life. Being loved, being cherished, being married, sober...ALIVE and becoming a parent and its all thanks to the man whose done so much for me, Joe....my Jo-Jo Bear. It such a stark contrast to last year, DYING.... Seeing Joe everywhere, spiraling even further into Heroin and here I am again ALIVE. And today, its Joe's birthday....and I have been and am determined to make it a special one, it's the least I can do for the love of my life. The least I can do......The past 2 months have flown by, filled with doing (some) work band wise, like setting the groundwork for a co-headlining tour with Aerosmith, doing interviews (not with the asshole who put me in the hospital), my photography and Joe beginning work on a surprise he plans on showing me for Christmas. Now, I am on bedrest.... which thank GOD doesn't apply to the bedroom.

I had a late night, constantly up to piss....and so slept in a while to say the least.... Joe of course insisted on staying up with me and God, I love him for it...and that's not the only thing of course. Currently Joe is still asleep and by some miracle, I slipped out of bed...which was difficult as fuck given how pregnant I am and I am working on my husband's birthday dinner, gifts hidden away where they can easily be found....

I wanted to make something special for Joe's birthday dinner, and do it all on my own, not that I haven't cooked with Joe.... but he taught me how and so I am making his favorite lasagna, salad, and garlic bread. I already have a cake set aside, that I had made for my husband....so as I am cooking, I have one hand on my stomach feeling Josephine kick me eagerly, me smiling and I can't stop.... nor would I fucking want to.

"Oh, you smell this delicious food huh?" I chuckle, "it's for a very special person. It's for daddy, today is his birthday. And without him, you and I wouldn't be HERE." At these words, I get choked up by the tears falling. "Life.... Without him, wasn't a life. I was dead in a way.... like last year and then I died nearly did for real., your daddy though? He never truly left me, he saved US.... you and I, you, and I." The pain of the past beginning to creep in now until those arms and hands I love and know so well, pull me against them....and by feel alone, its JOE. Who carefully turns me around, me feeling guilty and crying harder at my thoughts especially those of ruining my husband's special day....

"Nikki...." A gentle hand caressing my cheek, the other resting on my swollen stomach beginning to calm me and our daughter, "I heard you baby. And for the record? I'd save you repeatedly...and if you went I would no lie follow. I can see it in your eyes, the past is haunting you...it haunts me, but Nikki YOU ARE HERE ALIVE, with me.... carrying our daughter and you're not ruining my birthday. No fucking lie, this is one of the best birthdays I've ever had. Because YOU are here, you're giving me Josephine and you've put your heart and soul into today for ME. I love you baby."

"I love you too." I whisper, feeling SO much better before Joe claims my lips and after we reluctantly part, he insists because he tells me I look tired on finishing up his birthday dinner, thankfully there wasn't THAT much left and before I know it, all the food is set on the table, my husband looking at me wide-eyed.... a look of love and wonder....

"You made my favorite lasagna? This....is amazing, its smells divine. Thank you, Honeybee."

"Happy Birthday Jo-Jo bear, I really wanted to make something that meant a lot to you and it's the least I could do. Hope you like it."

"I already love it..." I wait eagerly for him to take the first bite and his eyes roll in the back of his head, making pleased groaning noises before I follow suit myself as I dig in, And Josephine moves constantly kicking me in delight.... We laugh, we talk...we eat. Us together and after we eat, Joe insists again on washing dishes.... getting me comfortable, especially once I burst into tears about being sore and after all that gets settled, I tell my husband where his gifts are and as he joins me on the couch, us cuddling and I watch his reaction we're both moved to tears.

"I made you these things.... pictures I've drawn of you, several are from last year.... It's how I saw you in my memories. Then there's photos I've taken of you, and guitar picks I've designed. Things you'd told me you wanted.... i was determined to make this special."

"Oh Nikki!" Joe buries his face in my shoulder and the way he said my name, to me said it all. Eventually Josephine begins to settle, and I find myself drifting off and next thing I know is, I awaken to find myself in our bedroom and Joe in the doorway of our bathroom softly exclaiming, "I carried you up here, figured you'd rest better. And I had to stop a moment because the sight of you.... You take my breath away, always and Nikki? You made this the best damn birthday I've ever had."

"I'm glad Joe...." I pause a moment placing my hands on my stomach, Josephine beginning to move, "---Someone is awake."

Joe quickly joins me in bed, his hands entwinning with mine....as together we feel our daughter move...

"Two more months and our precious little flower will be here."

"Two more months." I echo my husband's soft tone.

Joe's 38th birthday was a special one for sure, it meant a lot to both of us, and the next two months would pass by quickly and on November 15, 1988, our daughter Josephine would be born....

A/N: A memorable birthday, Nikki having a chance to take the reins for a chapter and the next chapter will be the first of at least 2 parts dedicated to Josephine Nicole Perry's arrival.