Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 21: Road to Recovery & Redemption Part 2

Nikki surprises me on the drive to my house, in a good way. The way he kissed me on my jaw, the way he twined our fingers together and refused to let my hand go. And my heart beating wildly out of control, I can feel him tremble occasionally. And I eye him as best I can concerned; he doesn't say anything just holds my hand tighter.

Before I realize we're pulling up to the house, Nikki's green eyes...God those eyes are focused solely on me. I park, set the break, and kiss him gently.

"I love you."

"I love you too." Quietly, and I have to say I love the way he looks at me.

"We're here let's get you settled in, and I'll bring you something to eat..." Nikki starts to protest until I tell him, "Before you tell me I've done enough and I don't have to go to so much trouble, babe I want you to know...I could never do enough for you, I want to do this. Its no trouble, I'm not used to all this...but for you, I know I will do anything ok Nikki?"

"Ok Joe." Nikki exhales.

"Look up." Softly. Nikki does so and his eyes go wide and fill with tears that start spilling down his cheeks.

"Wow.... Wow.... this, this is beautiful. And I get to stay here with you? This is a dream, gotta be."

"If it's a dream, it's a good one and it's REAL. Never forget that." Nikki initiates our kiss this time, and I love the feel of our lips together. Eventually we do part, and I help Nikki gather what things he does have with him, and we head in the house, Nikki looking wide-eyed at everything, and I notice how very exhausted he is, so gently I carry him in my arms, him burrowing into me and carry him upstairs and into the guest room I told him about.

"I feel so gross, I need a shower." Nikki says sheepishly, hesitantly.

"Hey, you can do whatever you want here and if you want a shower, you are sure the hell can take one."

"C-Can you...help me? Like you did.... that night?" Nikki asks, eyeing me nervously, I wrap my arms around him as I know exactly what he means and is referring to.

"Don't be so nervous baby, I would love to help you...and I can do exactly that." I find myself getting misty, "I've missed that. the way you feel."

"Me too." I help support Nikki and lead him to the bathroom, quickly gathering his clothes of mine, towels, and the like. Specifically, I led him to my bathroom, him taking everything in about my bedroom. I get the shower started, and help Nikki undress, joining him.

I help him bathe, and just like that night we had our sex marathon, I hold him. Nikki rests his head in the crook of my neck, both of us wet...just simply holding one another and I cry, I can't help it. I can tell Nikki is too, it's been SO long and this...US, feels so right. Eventually, we finish...me dressing, helping Nikki first and drying his hair, leading him back to his room and as soon as he lays on the bed, he's out. I cover him with a blanket, brushing back his hair and I linger, whispering to him....

"I can hardly believe that you're here with me, but you ARE. Sleep as much as you need, you're gonna be safe and cared for now Nikki. I love you."

I linger a bit longer, hating the idea of leaving him for a moment....i rush to my room and write Nikki a note, and I re-enter the room Nikki is staying in to find he's rolled over, clutching his pillow and I see tear tracks, tears rolling down his cheek breaking my heart, I leave the note to where he can see and I reach down and gently brush away his tears and whisper, "Shh baby don't cry. I'm here, ok?" Nikki doesn't wake, but his features relax, perhaps he knows I am touching him.

I once more linger a bit, before leaving the room and sigh tearfully before heading downstairs, doing some cleaning, laundry, practicing and planning out dinner and for the first time in well ever, I am cooking for someone I LOVE. It feels romantic or I hope it will be, I'm not used to doing such things. With Nikki though, I wanna try wanting only his happiness and of course I check on Nikki constantly who is still sleeping. Time passes by, until I eat something and have what I hope will be good...something special for Nikki to eat and drink on a tray and night is falling as I head upstairs, nervous not gonna lie.

And suddenly I find myself standing outside my lover's bedroom door and I call out to him, hoping that I don't wake him. "Nikki? Its...Its Joe, are you awake?"

I hear sniffling and my heart breaks at the sound, and I hear a small, "Yeah." Somehow without dropping anything, I manage to open his door to find Nikki with his knees drawn up to his chest, crying but he DOES look up his eyes wide and in shock. "Y-You made me dinner. Joe, you didn't have to go to so much trouble!"

"Nikki it wasn't trouble, baby quit saying things like that. I'm nervous, hoping you like it. I just wanted to do something special for you, I haven't truly wanted to or enjoyed cooking for someone in so long. You though? I wanna try...now baby please tell me what else has you so upset." Softly, concerned and lovingly all at once. I set the tray on a side table and sit on the bed and as soon as I do, Nikki practically tackles me...diving into my arms.

"I...I...had a nightmare.... about you." Nikki stammers. "Doc...he'd...killed you.... you died in my arms but not before he raped me in front of you, m-made you watch. He...he'd threatened to do that to you, so many times for real." I clutch at Nikki, shoulders shaking with my sobs.

"Oh Nikki...Nikki.... i hate.... what he's done to you. Oh baby, I.... i don't wanna lose you and I swear on my life, I will do whatever it takes to always, always be with you. I would die for you; I will live for you. I love you, no matter what and I promise I will see that bastard suffer for the rest of his days behind bars." Nikki pulls back, fearing I'll disappear and then I find him kissing me fiercely and I respond just as fiercely back.

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too Nikki."

We dried one another's tears and I set the tray on the bed between Nikki and I, he looked at me with a look of wonder, touched I can tell.

"I made you, bruschetta...garlic and crusty bread with a bowl of al pomodoro pasta and drink wise iced raspberry and mint tea."

"Joe, this.... means so much to me. I've never had anyone do this for me, so thank you."

"You're welcome baby."

With that Nikki digs in, eyes lighting up.... making them an iridescent green. He also makes pleased groaning noises, which not gonna lie is doing things to me, things I try very much to will away for now....

When Nikki finishes, and it warmed my heart to see him so happy while he was eating...he ate everything, I carefully take the tray from him and set it aside and Nikki surprises me by sitting on my lap, wrapping his arms around me...his head laying on my chest and I give into the urge to run my fingers thru his hair.

"That was no lie, the best meal I have ever eaten."

"I am glad you loved it, you looked so...so beautiful, happy while you were eating it." I murmur.

"I..." Nikki hesitates, "Is it silly to say I tasted the love in there?"

"Hell, no baby."

"I could feel how much you loved me and...could you make that again?"

"I Nikki will make that anytime you want. Now what do you wanna do? We can do anything, you can." Nikki pulls back enough to look at me, eyes shining, gaze thoughtful.

"Maybe tour the house? Watch tv? Kissing, lots of kissing. Can we do that?"

"Sounds perfect Nikki no lie."

We did exactly that, exactly what Nikki asked. Spending the evening, or half the night...kissing, touring the house, me seeing everything thru my lover's eyes. I can never forget that feeling. We watched tv, well the tv was on...but Nikki and I only had eyes for each other and amazingly, Nikki's withdrawals like sickness didn't hit him. My husband would eventually tell me, he swears I am the reason for that. and sadly, we part around 1 am, I can tell Nikki is still very much scared...nervous just to simply share a bed with me, but the real reason is of course, he was afraid to hurt me in his sleep coming out of or amid a nightmare. That feeling...that dream I'd had of him, was very much on my mind.

I did stay with him till he fell asleep, before heading to my room but NOT before kissing him softly and where you next find us, well at last you will see my dream of Nikki coming to me, a reality.

A/N: I couldn't resist and decided to make this into three parts. Hope you enjoyed and more to come!