Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 4: Just a Punk in the Streets

"---So, you've had the misfortune to meet my 'so called' bitch of a 'mother'...and that fucking evil douchebag of a manager." Nikki's tone is surprisingly calm, face as stone but those EYES are pained. "---Her name is Deana.... always spreading her legs and staying fucked up my whole childhood, always drinking....and 'dating' abusive assholes, I was her little cash cow.... she HURT me, emotionally abused and manipulated me...physically and her well they were really sugar daddies, would beat me and 'have a go' with me. I'd tell you more, but you can use your imagination and then there's Doc...." Nikki pauses tone dark, tinged with fear. "---Course as you've gathered..." pausing a moment to inhale and then exhaling a cloud of smoke, "---You don't wanna know, and again.... Use your imagination. My mind is a dark scary place, I AM worthless...a junkie, that shits all too true. But enough about my being completely fucked up.... how are you liking LA?"

I remember that conversation VERY well, and still to this day I wanna no lie...beat the shit out of those responsible and THAT is me being polite about what I really wanted to do. I will tell you that one day down the line from this day when he and I had an actual conversation.... those that harmed my husband would PAY and RUE the day and years they hurt him. My point is the picture I got left me shocked, appalled and my heart broke for him. I was human after all....and I regret not opening up to Nikki until I nearly lost him forever and seeing the light so to speak when 87' started...

It takes me some time to formulate a response, my mind a whirl of thoughts but I finally formulate a response, "Well I bar hop, don't really get out Much. Ya knows, I've played LA before with Aerosmith but really didn't do any exploring. Haven't still."

"That's too damn bad, you don't know what you're missing Joe Perry." Nikki shakes his head slightly.

"So, you're telling me bars don't count?" I quip and I glance at Nikki and see him smirk.

"I think again, you don't know what you're missing."

"So, enlighten me then."

Nikki who is finished it seems with his cigarette chucks it before replying with, "Sunset for one, The Rainbow Bar and Grill, Musso's.... the diner where I met Tommy Lee, there's a pool hall I know of...those kinds of places and then..." Nikki turns to me smirk wide, "I know some good strip clubs."

I raise an eyebrow on the last bit but match his smirk with one of my own, "So what you and your band do on stage isn't a strip show? I've heard girls flash their tits constantly."

"Well...it's not US stripping now, is it?" Nikki laughs outright. I wish I'd have seen it then, that I was loosening up...that we were bonding. I mean at the same time, yeah, I KNEW but I was afraid of that, and I think we both were.

I chuckle wickedly, "Don't think I haven't seen or heard of your drummers exploits on and off stage. So technically it IS you stripping or at least one of you." I laugh. Oh, the images that are snaking thru my brain of NIKKI...Nikki stripping and damn it.... damn it, THAT DREAM.... though I can't deny that he's attractive but, in the end, I fear getting too close, yet again.... the more I get a taste so to speak, the more I talk to him the more I want and want....it scares me what he's been thru, I can see the picture and it's not a pretty one I imagine and God help me if I see either his so called mother or manager again, what truly have they done to him? I feel as if I will hurt him......by standing up for him...

My cigarette has long turned to ash, and I have no fucking clue how long we've been out here and lucky for us no one's come to collect us, and I'd say we're both trying to avoid the studio for a while at least.

After a few minutes of silence, Nikki asks me something or several things that really throw me for a loop, "So Joe...you ride motorcycles? And I never thought I'd ask this, but how would you like to explore LA on the back of a Harley? I thought it would be a cool way to repay you for..." Here Nikki's expression darkens, "—Stopping Doc and I guess Deana too. And one last question.... have you ever done Heroin?"

I can feel myself freeze, panicking now...not because...well not necessarily because of him asking me if I've ridden motorcycles and wanting to hang out with me...but the last line....HEROIN...Nikki does it I've heard, I've seen the track marks...what the world DOESN'T know is I HAVE done that....a deadly Molotov drug cocktail or it could have been, back In the 70s...my heart stopped, so a close call....and it haunts me, and what could it do to Nikki if I tell him? I'd say today he's been through more than enough.

"---I mean I've heard tales going round of the Toxic Twins." Nikki continues and I don't know how to respond. How could I have told him at that point about Steven? In hindsight, I should have because it would come back to bite me in the ass big time, that and keeping Nikki at arm's length, shit I very much regret to this day.

"To be honest..." I begin slowly ya know not being completely honest, "---I can't remember, a lot of the 70s were a blur to me. So.... maybe I did, I can't fucking remember." Nikki's eyes narrow but then soften to my surprise and I manage a small smile, "and to answer your other questions Nikki Sixx, yes I have ridden motorcycles...I know how to ride and what the hell, I could do with a walk on the wild side....so my question now for you is, when do you wanna do this?" Turns out those last words, well Nikki would be inspired to write 'wild side' which would be included on his bands album and much later he would tell me it was because of ME, that he would do that, citing that I was his muse or so I would become.

Nikki smiles, a true one though it doesn't reach his pain filled and weary eyes and still my breath hitches.

"Oh, I'll let you know, you're practically right next door in the studio Joe Perry...and soon, very soon. Well soon as we can anyway."

We went over our break time, again lucky for me it wasn't Steven that came to fetch us, it was a concerned and knowing Mick Mars who'd heard, who KNEW so much, and I didn't know that then and in time he would become a close friend, family and you will see. Sadly, it would be a few weeks from this point that what looking back now was really our first date, unofficial but still.... recording got in the way, Nikki doing Heroin.... Steven sniffing around and yet every break we'd have, it was Nikki and I.... Nikki and me. It would be October 10, 1986, when mine and Nikki's unofficial date took place.

A/N: The seeds have been planted, chemistry, drama, a little bit of everything. Next chapter I plan on being the first of Two Parts. Hope you enjoyed reading this my friends.