Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 34: You Will Never Be Alone

As the time drew ever closer for Aerosmith to play that festival in England.... Nikki only grew more anxious, sad...breaking my heart, though I understood WHY. I can tell you I felt much the same way as my lover, the down time was much needed we'd had, but it wasn't ENOUGH....no where near enough for us, Nikki especially. He felt he was holding me back, that he was a burden then I could see and feel that. course that sure as fuck wasn't true. Things started to get busy in May of 88' for Aerosmith which included: Interviews, filming music videos and Nikki and the rest of Mӧtley would get back to work despite the other members heavy protesting, calling for Nikki to rest more. And this would lead to him overdoing it the following month in June, he was trying to distract himself figuring it wouldn't hurt as much not having me there he'd told me then. I should mention that everyone looked out for Nikki.... while I was gone, he wasn't alone, I made sure of that...he was never alone, which I could tell he very much feared during that roughly two-month period of May-June of 88'.

Some things before we get started: One, I did something I NEVER thought I would do again....in fact vowing never to do again and Nikki was and IS the only one I wanted to be my forever, he was...he IS. Two, First of May.... we filmed the video for 'Love in an Elevator', Nikki being the video Vixen....MY video Vixen and boy did we forget the cameras were rolling and that led to us going wild once we were done filming if you get my drift. Three, there was NO better sight.... than seeing Nikki glowing from his pregnancy...his body changing, growing to accommodate our child......

I spy Nikki sitting with Mick, Vince, and Tommy Lee.... Nikki in tears, worrying me. he keeps glancing at me, fearing I'll disappear, and I am nervous for what I have in mind for him.... well us. Still, he is really fucking glowing, so beautiful.... Tommy Lee is doing his best to try and make Nikki laugh and smile, being his 'crazy ass but loveable' self-according to Nikki.

I forget how long we've been rehearsing for the festival next month, or how much time today has passed. My hands, they know what to do, cause Nikki is all I see.... i pour every ounce of my love for him into my playing and before I realize, its time for a break and carefully I set my guitar aside making my way immediately to my lover, who practically dives into my arms sobbing....

"Talk to me Honeybee, I PROMISE whatever it is it will be ok..." I try and soothe Nikki pausing a moment before my brain kicks in and of course I know EXACTLY why he's so sad and upset. "Nikki, listen to me baby.... I know it hurts you so much already, my leaving for about a week next month. You fear being alone, know this: you are NEVER truly alone, never. Even if I'm not here in person, your heart is entwined with mine....and...." I place a hand on his swollen stomach, "—Part of me is in here, with a part of you...in this way I too am always with you. And I will no matter what always find my way home, my home is YOU Nikki Sixx, its YOU."

Nikki finally looks up at me, eyes wide & face tear-streaked croaking out, "it does HURT, I don't do well alone.... When you're not around, I can't FUNCTION. I-I know you're right; I DO.... It's just that and I am still learning how to truly slow down. I feel safest, most grounded in your arms and I know you'll take care of me, of our baby and never am I truly alone. My hormones don't fucking help, but here you ARE making me feel better. I love you...I love you."

I slide to my knees, Nikki for a moment looking confused before his features soften looking down at me, as I proceed to pepper his stomach in kisses.... him running his fingers thru my hair and I take a deep breath, vaguely aware that everyone is watching and listening, and I am SO nervous, but I breathe some more...feeling Nikki and our baby and I calm....

"Nikki for SO long, I lost touch with my emotions.... i was hurt, physically and mentally...for far too long and then came you, I didn't know for a long time what I was feeling around you meant and then I lost you...twice, and I saw just how much I love you. You gave me the gift of your love, your heart, YOU, and our child. I still am always learning how to be a partner, all I know is I thought the love I feel for you, US was a fairy tale....and you are my forever, I want only you at my side...which is why...." Here I bring my self to one knee and pull a ring out of my pocket, Nikki bringing a hand to his mouth in shock." ---I wanted to ask you, if you Nikki Sixx would do me the absolute fucking honor of marrying me my dearest honeybee..."

Nikki manages to find his voice, tearfully giving his reply. "Yes.... god YES Anthony Joseph Perry." With that, I slip the ring on his finger and the ring in question is a black band, with a diamond bee if you will...my honeybee. There are so many cheers, as we come together in a kiss that takes my breath away. "This is something I NEVER dreamed of, but I find I love this very much.... when...when did you wanna get married?"

I smile tearfully, "I feel the same Honeybee and just say the word and I will marry you anytime, anyplace."

Nikki floors me and touches me both with his reply, "Right now. It feels right to me...."

"It feels right to me too...and speaking of which...." I gesture, and an officiant walks in, Nikki turns to me jaw dropped....

"You Jo-Jo bear.... are full of surprises and I love that. Now let's get married..."

"Oh, hell yes Honeybee." The officiant stands before Nikki and I, and I produce a wedding band for Nikki and a matching one for me and we're married, every one we love and care about baring witness and I feel no lie, like I could fuckin' fly to the moon, there are vows and at LAST I kiss my husband.... wow my husband hungrily, the world around us disappearing....

We eventually resume rehearsal for a bit, my husband and i.... again, I LOVE saying that, only having eyes for each other until next thing I know, I find myself with my new husband in our bed, me caressing his swollen stomach and trading kisses.

"I can't believe we're married now, that's fucking mind blowing and to think...that our baby was there, we can tell them...they were at our wedding. Joe, this turned out to be the greatest day of my life...and I..." Nikki freezes a moment, worrying me...

"What's wrong?"

"It...it feels like...." Here he looks to me eyes in tears as realization dawns for both of us, "Fluttery...I think.... oh JOE.... the baby is moving.... their moving!"

"Holy Shit.... this...is I have no words...." Tears start rolling down my cheeks, as I rub Nikki's belly and speak to our baby, "Oh sweetheart.... i will never forget this moment, nor this day.... Your Ma and I got married today and now you're starting to move, its...its magical."

"It really is magical Jo-Jo Bear...." Nikki's tone goes from tender to lustful, "Ya knows, I don't believe my husband as made love to me yet...." Nikki's hands are already starting to wander, making me groan....so I lean and whisper huskily in his ear....

"Your wish is my command.... dearest husband." And my husband and I make love......and it is everything: Passionate, wild...tender, decadent.... perfection.

A/N: Surprise! A surprise proposal and marriage.... Next chapter the first of two parts, stay tuned for more!