Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 100: My Worlds Part 4

Family, love.... things that I was denied time and again for so long...so long I'd hid my heart, my emotions and everything. It took me a long time to see it was NIKKI, my Nikki that was and still is the one that led to those things. He is my honeybee, my everything......the point here is that October day, Nikki and I were blown away by one that was and even more so became FAMILY. I can never forget Depp's words.... or I should say Cooper-Depp's words. I can't describe what it meant to my husband and I., and I should say too that it reaffirmed my belief in fate, I can tell you that and where you will find us as my Honeybee said is sitting down to dinner....

I've just gotten Nikki settled or re-settled as he'd burst into tears about having to piss and he was sore and rambled about how he was a burden. I told him and showed him, that he was, nor could he ever be a burden and now, now he's looking at me in his way, like I hung the moon.... his eyes glowing.

"Thank you, Joe. I love you."

"I love you too, so much." Softly, me as always making sure I touch some part of him as we eat and of course the conversation we were sharing resumes with Johnny and Alice, Johnny who begins to relax a lot more and I can tell it means so much to him that we accept Alice, Alice who looks at him the way Nikki and I look at each other....

"You feeling better now Nikki? I can only imagine how hard things are for you right now." Johnny asks my husband.

"For now.... yes." Nikki sighs, "I still have nausea and dizziness spells, which suck. And it can get so uncomfortable when all three of the babies move or kick a lot...." Here he glances at me, such a loving glance. "---Its all fucking worth it, I love feeling them and I couldn't do this with out Joe. Plus, Amara and Josephine are so excited for their siblings!"

Alice chuckles, "I know." Before adding on, "Your oldest daughter told me. Such a sweet girl. I can tell you that you both are awesome parents and you're raising a future generation of rockers, raising them right."

I chuckle and say fondly and grateful both for his words, "—Seriously thank you and naturally they would be rockers...after all they have us as parents." I pause a moment, glancing at Nikki and then say feeling emotional, "—And I never thought it would happen, that I would BE a good parent or love it so much and I have the absolute perfect partner to share in it with."

Nikki cries and to tell the truth so do I, gently I wipe his tears....

"I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too babe."

More conversation follows, between us all.... Alice tells us stories; Johnny mentions future film projects he's interested in, and we get to know Alice. He really is a good fit for Johnny....

It is this evening, that the seeds will be sown for what would become the Hollywood Vampires and spoiler alert, everyone knows that I, Alice and Johnny are in the band BUT Steven Adler-Lee would become our drummer and well as for our bass player? My husband, my muse....my everything: Nikki Perry-Sixx.

The rest of the evening passes by in a blur, and Nikki...Nikki is so fucking exhausted, but he insists on Staying awake for visiting with Alice and Johnny, who insist more that Nikki rest, still he protests but ends up falling asleep and the visit is at an end, but promises of future visits are made, and I know they will be kept....

Right now, I am worried about Nikki.... He is crying in sleep and gently I caress his face whispering, "—Shh its ok Honeybee, I'm Here. I promise I gotcha. I'm worried not gonna lie, but I ain't going anywhere. I love you." Nikki knows even in sleep that I am touching him, comforting him and before I can do anything else.... the phone rings and I realize that its Amara and Josephine's bedtime and naturally Nikki wakes up, groggily...

"Joe..."

"It's the girls calling, you just get you some more sleep, ok?"

"I-I missed.... visiting and...and I wanna talk to them." Nikki cries, as I caress his face.

"Shh, babe they understood Alice and Johnny, and I ain't mad, cause I can see you think that...but no lie, I'm not and you can talk to our daughters Nikki and then you need sleep, you need lots of sleep, ok?"

"Ok.... I love you." He whispers.

"I love you too..." I answer the phone, managing to kiss my husband and then he burrows into me as best he can, as I place a free hand on his swollen stomach feeling...Tony, James and my youngest girl Frankie move and it makes me smile, "—Hey girls, calling to tell us good night?" I answer.

"Yes daddy!" Two sweet little voices chorus together.

"Its so good to hear from you.... we miss you so much." At these words, I feel the onset of tears, "Mommy wants to talk to you, ok? It would cheer him up, make him feel better."

"Mommy be k?" Amara asks.

Nikki sighs tearfully and exhausted, "—I, I hope so. So tired....and, I fell asleep during the visit.... i just really wanted to be awake, I thought d-daddy would be mad, and.... he's not."

"Daddy never be mad at you mommy; you need lots and lots of sleep. Now, get sleep and you and daddy rest, ok?" The words of my beautiful oldest daughter Josephine, so very much like my Nikki.

"Ok, I love you and your sister so much." Nikki sniffles.

"We love you too mommy and daddy." They answer, we chat a moment more, goodnights are said, and I scooped up Nikki very carefully in my arms, headed for the elevator and soon we're in our bedroom, where Nikki tearfully declares he must piss, when I gently set him on his feet. Once that's done, I set about helping Nikki into comfortable sleep wear, one of my sweatshirts included and before long I get him settled in bed, making sure he's comfortable as possible and Nikki is now out like a light.

Gently I kiss him and then his swollen stomach...and I can feel my sons and daughters still move with in my Honeybee, so gently I rub Nikki's swollen stomach to keep them calm and I whisper to my loves....

"I love you three, feeling your move. But you need to rest....and when your older sisters come back, we will tell them your names: Tony, James and Frankie. You are so very loved, and I want you to know you are getting the best mommy. He's got the biggest and most loving heart; I have EVER known." Tenderly, and gradually I can feel they've gone to sleep, and I then whisper to Nikki, gently brushing his untamable hair back. "You are my greatest addiction Nikki, one that I could never, nor would I ever want to give up. And remember, you are not a burden.... never could be one. I love you so very much, sleep Honeybee and no lie, I ain't going anywhere."

Nikki's features relax more, and I cant help but admire the sight before me....

You take my breath away, every time I see you.... touch you.... It's like the first time. I would save you repeatedly Nikki, no lie. I saved you and the truth is we saved each other, sleep well my love.... cause I am going to be HERE, right here beside you and when our girls come home.... I can't wait to tell them the names YOU chose for our sons and youngest girl and it's even more special with you at my side....

A/N: More of the visit, and moments between Alice and Johnny as well as Nikki and Joe. More to come soon!