Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 69: Where Has the Light Gone? Part 3

December 12, 1993.... the worst day as it turns out of mine and Nikki's lives. To us, it was worse in a lot of ways than our past addictions. Our precious first born was taken from us, she was hurt and God that phone call. Freaked me the fuck out, Chaos erupted.... Nikki passed out, poor little Amara was wailing wanting her 'sissy' and then another quick phone call to Steven and Vince Neil-Tyler since they lived closest and God, it's a fucking wonder Steven was remotely able to understand me...given I could hardly talk, sobbing but he did, and he and Vince came running with their then 2 nearly going on 3 son: Jackson Vincent Tyler. Steven and Vince were just as anxious, worried and scared as Nikki and I were.... They watched and protected Amara and their son. And i remember Steven calling after me, "We'll do what ever it takes to bring her home and we wont rest till we do." Later we'd come to find while Nikki and I headed to Josephine's school, which god that was SO damn hard.... nearly collapsing but the point is Steven called everyone in our family and told them the devastating news AND everyone helped to search for our missing Josephine. God, it kills me to talk about this, reliving it once again and where you will find Nikki and I is at Josephine's school talking with the cops and we would learn/Realize just who took our daughter and we'd make the bitch fucking suffer.

Nikki is in tears, clutching our daughters backpack and stuffed bee, her beloved stuffed bee.... both of us are barely able to keep upright, so overcome with worry, with fear and the determination to find our daughter, and we will NOT rest until she is home with us and is safe. My heart is so fucking heavy....so heavy and the police officer asks us a question that makes my poor husband tremble terribly and my blood to boil at the thought of my daughter being hurt.... the tears falling like rain......

"Can either of you think of who would want to take her, or cause her or your family harm?"

Before I can answer, Nikki DOES.... speaking each word slowly, fearfully. "S-She.... i.... didn't....my mother.... Deana F-Feranna.... but...she's...in prison."

Once again before I can try to form words, my blood boiling at the thought OF THAT BITCH harming my daughter.... we learn that Deana somehow managed to escape from prison....and my world crashes in and I will KILL her for this! She's already more than hurt my husband as if that wasn't enough and now she's got Josephine. I will make her pay, make her SUFFER for this.... we never could have seen this coming though, we had no clue till now and it kills me, this is killing me...OUR daughter needs Nikki and I, and we will not rest until Josephine is in our arms safe and until Deana is in her grave!

"No...NO...no!!! How the fuck......WHY the fuck did this have to happen?! She's.... She's hurting our daughter! She's...." Nikki turns to me look lost and desperate, "---Its.... Its...my fault...Joe...."

Tearfully I cut him off, "I swear to you, to our daughter.... i will make Deana PAY for this..." Lowly, "It....it kills me, Josephine so scared and likely blames herself, knowing her.... but I tell her, and I tell you, it's NOT your fault.... it's NEVER your fault. We didn't know, we didn't...Nikki we will find our daughter, no fucking lie baby. I love you; I love HER.... BOTH of our girls so much, so damn much."

Gradually, we do talk more to the police....and I can see in my husband's eyes, he is reliving his abuse at his so called 'mother's' hands.... there is pain, such pain and rage at our daughter suffering in ANY way, for I feel very much the same. We do get told as well, that the blood they found likely was from a nasty cut from rings Nikki and I concluded or a switch blade.... i felt, like the light in our lives was gone and it had felt like a lifetime, but I knew, and I KNOW Josephine needs us and that we'd get her back....

Nikki and I wind up scouring the area ourselves around the school, the surrounding neighborhood for hours, we do check in at our house where Tyler tells us sadly no news yet, but everyone is looking and we pass along what we do know, Amara is crying for her sister....and God, does that break my heart, its breaking all our hearts....We look everywhere, everywhere we can think and before I know it night has fallen.

Nikki and I rather reluctantly headed home; I remember that very well. Doesn't mean of course we didn't look along the way, that we would quit looking.... The police would call if any news came through and we all cried together, our family. We didn't know then at that point, where Josephine was...how hurt, how she ran, how fucking brave she was facing Deana, course I knew then and now how fucking strong my daughter was, she IS, still I nor Nikki knew she'd make her way to the Sunset Strip, making it to the rainbow where she would be found and helped the next day aka December 13, 1993, by one who would become family, who we'd become damn good friends as well and eventually with this person, the Hollywood Vampires would be formed.

I remember well though the night of the 12th-13th, NONE of us slept and those that did didn't get much of it, I'd had a dream during what little sleep I did get dozing off and it gave me hope, gave Nikki hope....and God did we cling to it. Or maybe it was a vision, anyway.... She was at the Rainbow, she was found by a kind stranger, and we reunited with her, in the hospital which hurt, but she was found, she was found!

The children present are fitfully asleep, us adults.... Vince, Steven, myself and my husband whom I have tightly held in my arms can't sleep, it's late and anxiously we are waiting for news, waiting to BREATHE, and Nikki clings tightly to our oldest daughter's bee-bee.

And I break down, feeling myself shake....

"I-I.... never.... g-God....it HURTS.... She deserves to be home with us, safe and happy. She was SO excited to make cookies Nikki told me, she loves Christmas telling me that I make it so special....that Nikki and I do, she blames herself....but I know she will fight, run if she can....she's so fucking brave and strong, stronger than she knows....she's scared, and I'd give my life just to see her safe...smile, be happy." Nikki shakes but murmurs to me that i am right. 

"Perry man, this fucking sucks...it hurts, and I can only imagine the world of pain you and Nikki are in right now..." Steven exhales slowly, tears in his eyes. "But I can understand, it scares me shitless at the thought of it happening to my own son, as a parent...they become your world, your heart. Then again, you never think it will happen to you. The point is this: you both are doing everything you can to bring her home, I love that kid like she was my own. And we all of us have your back and we will put that bitch Deana where she TRULY belongs, I swear to you, Perry....to you and Nikki both."

Little did we know that as scared as she was, Josephine hurt.... tired, not feeling well...my poor little girl, that she wondered...she walked for hours and hours till eventually it was the next day, and she would be found, at last found. And we would get thru the storm together, it wouldn't be easy...the aftermath of it all, but we had each other, we had our family. and damn it all I was PROUD of Josephine for being so brave, so smart and finding her way to such a special place.

A/N: Part 3 done, and next chapter I will have it from Josephine's Pov, she will be found. Stay tuned for more!