Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 104: Nightmares Come True Part 1(Nikki and Joe POV)

-Nikki-

The past few months.... i think it's been a few, have felt like forever...forever. As the days passed, my belly grew and grew.... along with my anxiety, my fear.... though I tried like hell at times to power through. However, Joe despite his own fears....and that feeling of helplessness...DESPITE all that, he's been everything...EVERYTHING. Joe's been the source of my strength but NOW at 8 months it isn't enough.... There have been good moments: the holidays, Josephine turning 6 and then.... on Christmas or around it, it was heart breaking to see Josephine go thru the pain of the anniversary of her kidnapping.... HOWEVER, she was more worried about ME. Both my oldest children are.... everything...everything is in place: the triplet's nursery, the car seats.... family.... family has really.... really helped. Now.... Now, we're barely into the New Year of 95'......January 4....and something FEELS wrong.... wrong.... haven't spoken in DAYS.... Joe is rushing me to the hospital, the pain...the PAIN....and feel......water.... wet.... blood...and.... a baby....NO!!

"J-J...STOP...." I manage to scream out, hard to breathe.... breathe....

"Nikki?!! Nikki.... come on......STAY awake......" Huh? Oh...., "---Oh shit.... blood.... water...broke...." Floats to me, I feel the car stop and I am struggling, Joe checks my pants, and I swear he pales, his face going white as he realizes...., "One of the babies.... they..." A sob, "Almost out.... god...."

Shuffling noises.... other noises now, are we close to the hospital.... i think.... i think....

"J-Joe.... Joe.... they.... can't.... its...its...." I sob, I get the feeling Joe's face is solemn and scared shitless.

"Nikki.... NIKKI.... i am sorry...so sorry.... we don't have...a choice...." Screams.....my screams.....pushing....pushing, a relief....but I don't HEAR....NO!!!!!

"NIKKI....NO.... DONT.... DONT CLOSE YOUR EYES.... OH GOD...OH GOD...." Is the last thing I hear.... before darkness, darkness settles in.

-Joe POV-

I am scared...SCARED....THE BABY, the baby I've just delivered.....isn't crying....a cord....wrapped around their neck...HER neck, I realize.....me desperately trying to get her to breathe, my fingers slipping....covered, I am covered in Nikki's blood and the babies....are coming....i am screaming for Nikki and then....things are happening FAR too fast, they have been.....worried, frantic voices.....them taking Nikki and my daughter.....me falling too my knees, screaming for him to come back to me....and our daughter....Frankie, is she ok?!!! Please...PLEASE let them both, let them all.... come back to me.... all four of my angels.

I've failed you Nikki.... i broke my promise....and God.... this, this fucking hurts......i Guess I did get you to the hospital after all.... but I stand to lose you all over again, lose our children and GOD, how will I tell our oldest? NIKKI, I NEED YOU.... I NEED YOU MY LOVE......

I am like a doll.... vaguely aware of moving.... something cold and wet....my hands being cleaned....and still I feel and SEE the blood, my Nikki's blood.... crying, screaming.... i can't stop......but NO, NO Nikki.... Nikki needs me, my children DO....

I come back to myself enough to somewhat talk....and vaguely aware of a nurse, giving me some water, looking solemn as I break down.... head in my hands....

"P-Please...PLEASE...N-Nikki....my b-babies.... I delivered....my daughter, she...wasn't b-breathing and, and I tr-ied....and....c-can you tell me.... a-anything?"

It will be a miracle if she can understand me.... i doubt it.... Nikki, Nikki I am losing you.... i am sorry for breaking my promise and our...children....