Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 88: Moments that Last Forever Part 1

Here I am at LAST, with my worlds....my absolute worlds: my beloved husband Nikki, my honeybee whom I have missed so damn bad, our daughters Josephine and Amara......screw my exhaustion right now, all I feel is my FAMILY and right now? What I am feeling is magical....

Gently, carefully I've just placed my hands on my husband's stomach......rubbing it now, feeling the roundness.... the gentle already there curve.... his precious baby bump housing our triplets, and words fail me right now, but words are not needed.... for Nikki echoes perfectly my thoughts......

"I know Joe....it DOES feel magical.... this moment.... these MOMENTS. And they'll last forever. And we're.... wow, I still can't believe the FIVE of us are together. And I can feel and SEE how much you love them already."

I look up in tears and choke out softly, "Y-Yeah......oh baby.... i know, you are SO right...so right. The four of you are my absolute worlds, Nikki. I know we wanted a big family, and true we may not have expected it to happen all at once.... but it FEELS right. Ya know?"

"It does Joe and t-that's true, this is hard....so hard and scary and beautiful all at once." Nikki whispers, managing a watery smile before looking to Josephine and Amara, "Would you like to feel your brothers or sisters?"

"Pease mama?" Amara's little voice pipes up.

"I want to mommy, if that's ok?" Josephine asks.

"It's ok. More than....in fact, carefully put your hands on my belly with daddy's...." Slowly my girls do so, joining me as together we feel.

"Oooh babies!" Amara exclaims gleefully, so adorable.... truly its heart warming.

I chuckle, "You know you were in there not so long ago."

"Weawy?" Curiously now.

"Uh huh. You were." I answer her.

"I remember daddy......" Josephine exclaims, "She moved lots and lots." She then asks her mother, "Does it hurt mommy?"

"No baby, it gets uncomfortable...like uncomfortable when I'm a lot further along, hurts some later but mostly uncomfortable. But.... it's the best feeling in the world, I love it......." Nikki trails off, bursting into tears. I blink and Amara and Josephine are beside me, Josephine keeping her sister occupied while I carefully and at long last take my husband in my arms.

"Talk to me Nikki.... please. Whatever it is, I promise you its gonna be ok...I've got you, I've got you." I try and soothe him, rubbing my hands up and down his back before resting once more one of my hands on his rounded stomach housing our triplets. "Breathe Nikki, Breathe." Nikki calms down quickly, greatly relieving me even though he's still very much in tears and I can tell it's more than mood swings.

Nikki slowly tilts his face up and our eyes meet, his clouded with tears and sadness....He takes and a deep breath and says, "I've....Gotta tell you something, I fear you will hate cause really I know I fucking do, but then again I KNOW you've got me......Anyway, the babies are fine....likely smaller than they should be at this point.....Joe, they want to keep me longer in the hospital to try and get the morning sickness more under control which means my doctor recommended 2 weeks so I am gonna be in here while you're on break from tour."

The air leaves my lungs and for a moment I can't breathe, heart dropping. I didn't imagine this, then again you can never truly plan for something like this. This is hard on all of us, I am realizing that now. Nikki, I can only love him even more for going through all this. I will be there physically, emotionally and spiritually for him every step of the way, that is a promise and too I am coming to realize he FEELS BAD enough and I would make it worse to cancel the tour. I won't do that to him, I won't hurt him like I did once......

I calm myself enough to speak managing to say, "Oh Nikki, listen to me...." Softly and seriously, "I hate that it causes you pain, you didn't ask for this, plan on this. You didn't have a choice, and I KNOW you hate this Honeybee. Like I said, I am gonna take care of you, of ALL five of our children no matter what or where I am." My tears fall once more as I choke out, "I must tell YOU something, or somethings I am realizing this is hard on us all, it will be, but it will be even more so on you Nikki. Truly I can only love you more for going through all this and carrying three of our children at once. Too, you feel bad enough as it is about everything and I will make things a hell of a lot worse if I go through with canceling the tour, coming back home. I can't DO that to you, I wont hurt you like I did once a couple years ago. You were right, ARE right in what you've told me. Sides, I will be there every step of the way, spiritually, emotionally and physically."

"Oh JOE....my Jo-Jo Bear...." That right there says it ALL to me, as he leans in, and I meet him quickly claiming his lips pouring all my love for him into our kiss until we're forced to part for air. "WOW..." Dazed slightly and I can't help but smirk a little and so Nikki adds on lowly so our daughters can't hear, "---Showing off again huh?" Allow me to interject a moment: if you just so HAPPEN to be curious.... YES, we managed or did to have sex while he was in the hospital. There i said it....

"With you, ALWAYS and then some." I whisper.

Time passes by me treasuring every moment with my family. I cry when at some point I get to see the three (for now) tiny babies within my beloved and it made even more beautiful that Amara and Josephine get to see it as well and then, then something that ALSO really makes me bawl when it comes to be later in the day (for I'd arrived at the hospital mid-morning) ......

Nikki, who is very concerned and really has been despite the other bouts of morning sickness he's had since I have been here says, "Joe? Baby, you look SO exhausted.... you need to get rest.... Neither of us are good to our children if we don't at least TRY. So, I need you to do something for me, for us......take our girls home and be with them, I know you will come back to me and see me tomorrow."

"Oh babe, oh BABE......if t-that's what you want, then ok...OK." I manage to stammer before collecting myself somewhat, "You're right....so right, I will do this for you Nikki. I will do ANYTHING you ask, and I will see you not tomorrow but tonight in my dreams and then I will see you tomorrow and bring Josephine and Amara and if you feel like you NEED me, whether its to talk or need me to come back I will come RUNNING." Softly and fiercely and once more we come together, kissing and then we all cuddle effectively as a family....

That was the hardest, most beautiful......bitter-sweet days of my life when I reunited with my husband and our oldest daughters. I learned things, I realized things and I was reminded and KNEW as always, we weren't alone. I remember very well calling Tommy Lee and telling him he understood and said if I or Nikki needed him to let him, and Adler know. I in turn couldn't thank the enough for everything they did for my family. Leaving Nikki that afternoon or later in the afternoon, hit me hard but then I thought: I have him, we are TOGETHER, and I calmed down. Nikki did end up FINALLY falling asleep after I left, looking much more peaceful than he had and he did end up calling me later that night and in the evening before the girls were put to bed and I did end up resting, Nikki.... our children very much on my mind. One more thing: I was shocked though I shouldn't have been that Tommy Lee and Stevie aka Popcorn took it upon themselves to stock up on groceries enough to last for the duration of break and then some.... fresh food, you name it. Once I found out, I insisted or tried to pay them back and they insisted more, that it was the least they could do as well as the fact that we were family.

Where you will next find me, is I and my oldest daughters at home the same day as my reunion with my family and as always you will see.......

A/N: Chapter 88 done, a little bit of everything in this chapter and more to come soon!