I am dreaming now......I see mommy and daddy and sissy, I see us playing in the snow, I love snow, it's my favorite! We are so happy, so happy.
And then another dream: It Christmas again, I see tree....and I see me, mommy and daddy and sissy and then I see mommies' stomach is very round cause mommy having babies, I rub mommies' belly and sissy and I ask lots of questions....
"Why babies move so much?" I ask.
"They are just like you and your sister were, very active...always showing off just like your daddy." Mommy sounds so happy and daddy chuckles.
"They do." Daddy says, "But I believe that the babies, you and your sister moved so much or do because they feel what mommy does. They feel how much they are loved, how special they are, and they feel the happiness.... whatever your mommy feels."
"Babies like Kimmas'? (Christmas)?" Sissy asks.
"They do, because I do....and they love the food too." Mommy laughs, his eyes glowing or at least that what daddy always say....
I wake up, still sleepy and I think yesterday I was so sad and scared but I sleep...and I have my family, especially mommy and daddy and its ok if I am sad.... but now.... oh, it's Christmas! And mommy and daddy don't know I write.... make present for them, I wanna do something special cause I love them lots and lots and they help me so much......and now I sad again, and I cry.... bringing my knees up to my chest......
I no be here without mommy and daddy.... mommy and daddy almost went bye-bye forever.... mommy did before I was born, he told me, but daddy save him. Mommy and daddy, never give up.... Mommy says I get stubbornness from daddy, daddy says he and mommy both are stubborn, that no matter.
'We were meant to be together; it took us a long time to realize that.' I hear daddy's voice in my head, 'Mommy, he is my other half. I have my flaws, so does he, but I love ALL parts of him as he loves all parts of me. The point Josephine is that you love all parts of someone, the good.... the bad, all of it. And you made me a father sweet girl, you are perfect all of you and so is your sister.... remember that always....'
I hear door open and then I feel AND see mommy, him rocking me gently......
"I felt you needed me sweet girl.... talk to me and if you're wondering daddy is with your sister and will be in here soon."
"M-Mommy? I sleep....and I wanted to do something special, I was thinking of you and...and daddy, I no be here without you....and...and I member daddy say you love all parts of someone, the good and the...the bad."
Mommy cups my face in his large hands, his eyes sad and I see love too. "Honey, I am so glad you slept....and you don't have to do anything special, just you are being here with us is special enough. That being said? It means a lot to us for you wanting to do something special and daddy isn't wrong. It took ME a long time to believe that, that he would love all parts of ME, and I want you to know, I love you Josephine.... ALL of you. It will get better in time I promise you."
"He's right...." I see daddy and sissy over mommy shoulder, daddy sits on bed with me and mommy, "You and your sister are the greatest gifts besides mommy himself I have ever gotten and us here together on Christmas, it's the best......it really, really is. I love you all so much, so much and merry Christmas."
"Merry Kimmas." Amara says.
"Merry Christmas daddy and mommy and sissy.... can I give you and daddy present I made for you mommy?"
"You can, and its from the heart which means I already treasure it, WE do." Mommy says smiling softly. I hug my family, and they hug me, and I get off bed and find present handing it to mommy and daddy, I make pretty....
"I drew us mommy and daddy and....and I make really pretty, and I wrote a letter..." I watch as they read it and look at pictures, eyes big and I see tears, but these are not sad tears......
Josephine's letter:
Dear Daddy & Mommy,
Ever since 'mean lady' take me....my world, my head been SO dark and scary. When I was gone, all I wanted was home and lots of cookies and cocoa. I wanted you and Mara' and snow, and I heard your voices in my head which I heard you say was 'my gut' and my heart talking to me.
Still, I feel like burden, like I should be happy....and help do stuff. But I am not alone, I am safe even though I do not feel safe. I do KNOW I am loved lots and lots. You say I am still special and proud of me, lots of hugs and kissies for that. I hate not FEELING like special.
But I have the bestest mommy and daddy in the world! They kiss my ouchies, they are my home, they do everything for me. They had been through lots and lots of hurt before I was born and done bad things, but they are even more special cause that. Daddy and mommy both say, you love all parts of someone, and I love all parts of my mommy and daddy.
It takes time for pain to go away, but I won't need to be alone. The best part of Christmas is being HOME. Thank you, mommy and daddy, for being my mommy and daddy, I love you both so much and sissy too.
Merry Christmas,
Josephine
OH! I am proud to be your daughter mommy and daddy, and proud of you both.
I feel myself being hugged and hugged and hugged, getting lots of kissies.... Sissy gets hugs and kissies too....
"Oh.... Jo.... Jo.... Josephine......oh honey......" Mommy, he tries to find words. "R-Rem...remember you are never EVER a b-burden, and baby I know all too feel how you feel. It will take time to heal still.... but what you said about daddy and I......you don't truly know how much that means to us, THANK YOU. And it's a beautiful Christmas present....so....so thoughtful, daddy and I will cherish this. And remember to, that you and your sister are the greatest gifts.... each of you are."
"Very well said Nikki.... Josephine, Amara.... Mommy is SO right. I never ever thought this would be my life, married to a true partner.... the other half of my soul, I never thought such a thing would happen nor exist, but here I am.... here WE are and I wouldn't trade my life for anything." Daddy and mommy share look before looking at me and sissy again and kissing. "---Merry Christmas to MY greatest gifts, my husband...and my girls."
"Merry Kimmas daddy!" Amara says.
"Merry Christmas daddy, mommy and sissy." I say before asking, "Daddy? Can we have snowflake pancakes?"
Daddy smiles, which mommy says we have same smile, "---Of course we can! But first, Santa paid us a visit....so you girls wanna open gifts first and then breakfast?"
I pout thinking......
"Peasants!" Amara claps her little hands. "Sissy?"
"Presents please?" I ask.
"Presents it is!" Daddy declares, grinning.
Merry Christmas Mommy and daddy and Amara, thanks lots and lots for loving me and being here for me. I love everyone so, so much....
A/N: I was originally gonna have this chapter be from Joe or Nikki's POV, but I am SO glad I did this first part from Josephine's POV. Part 2 will follow asap!
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Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)
RomanceThere are some things that are hard to face: an addiction to drugs, and an addiction to love, to a person who will forever change your life and get ahold of your heart before you know it.... The Year is 1986, And One Anthony Joseph Perry aka Joe Per...
