Might as Well Face it, You're Addicted to Love (Joe Perry/Nikki Sixx)

Chapter 93: At Last, The Tour Ends

I had thought that that 'Permanent vacation tour' hit me hard and I'd never been gladder for it to be over, Well turns out Aerosmith's tour in 94' for 'Get A Grip' that world tour.... hit even harder in some ways. My poor husband struggled, I worried....so did he and we HATED to be apart. I missed so much, I felt with his pregnancy with the triplets.... I just really wanted to hold him when I was gone. And seeing his body change to accommodate our children, changing daily he'd tell me and the fact that he fucking struggled emotionally especially, now that KILLED me. And of course, I missed out on a lot with my oldest daughters too and I guess you could say that's part and parcel with being a rock star and a parent, but for me it wasn't meaning my family was and is my priority. Things though weren't ALL bad, those breaks.... those precious breaks on that tour, taking care of Nikki and my children...all of them, were balms for my soul, grounding me and giving me strength to keep going. And where you find me is on a plane, bound for home.... Nikki knew I was coming naturally, and God I couldn't get home fast enough to my unborn children and my Josephine and Amara...

I hold precious, precious letters from my husband in my hands and too letters from Josephine and Amara (with help), such precious words rendered by the most beautiful souls.... I feel myself sigh tearfully, eager to get home...emotional, you name it......

"Joe? You wanna talk?" Tom's voice reaches me, breaking me out of my reverie and I find more tears falling, Joey leaning against him making me wistful...wishing I was doing that with Nikki and of course this draws Steven's and Brad's attention to me as well.

"I just.... I mean I thought that 'Permanent Vacation' tour, that was hard.... This one was worse in a lot of ways. I missed out on so much with my girls, with the triplets.... like, feeling them move for the first time. Nikki said though, they started moving because of ME. He said he was thinking of ME. I missed appointments and God is he really fucking struggling with this pregnancy. He said he felt like I was there but still. We've also talked about this is part of our careers, the hardest part I feel when we're on tour but my FAMILY.... are MY priority. Took a hell of a long time for me to realize that and it's because of Nikki. Those breaks we had been like a balm for my soul, taking care of him....and of ALL our children. I just have NEVER been gladder for a tour to be over." My words, come pouring out...my worries and ever more tears.

Steven is the first one to break the silence, other than the sound of my tears......

"Perry.... We all know something of what you feel in being apart from our spouses and own children to an extent. Cause for you, it's even harder I'd only be able to imagine how hard it is for you and Nikki right now. And I never thought once, I'd say these words.... but you two were truly made for each other. Nikki knows and you do too, just how much you love him and all your children. You fucking take care of them man, no matter where you are and what you're doing. We're all right behind you and too I know about those letters you've gotten from Nikki and your kids, and didn't he send you stuff as well? Things will get better in time, you guys got this."

"Thank you...seriously, thank you." Quietly, tearfully. I sigh shakily before talking some more, "—It wasn't all bad, or hasn't been.... there's nothing like seeing Nikki's body change for our children, to see them grow....and God, how beautiful he looks. Just HIM you know? And that elevator I had put in our house has been a god send Nikki's said, cause he doesn't feel safe going up and down stairs so much and I want him to be as safe and comfortable as possible. And too, he quit driving last month.... he figured and the Doctor too, told him it would be too stressful. And he's doing so well, I mean I am so proud of him. Ya know, Josephine started first grade man.... she's so fucking smart, she's essentially Nikki's clone and Amara? She's learning so much, growing to fast and the triplets well I KNOW they are like their sisters, already amazing."

We chatted a little longer, before Brad, Tom, Joey and Steven decided to get some rest for a bit, me? I turn back to my letters I still have in my hold, and I take one out from MY Nikki and my girls....

Dearest, Dearest Jo-Jo Bear aka Joe,

The triplets move all the time now, but only when I am thinking about you...it's like they know. Then too, they are like me.... restless as fuck. My insomnia is still bad, Josephine is back in school now. I drove her for her first day, but then freaked the hell out when I started having cramps as you know....so that's why the doctor said no to driving, way too much fucking stress...my words not the Doctor's. I should have known better, like with LA traffic. However, Josephine had a good day at school, she said. So much to show you, she wanted to make us both proud and I say she is. Amara really misses her sister being at school....

But then, I am so lonely at the same time with you being on tour. Especially at night. I must have help now with my bass.... I already waddle and it's getting worse I feel, I must have help with EVERYTHING. Things are scaring me. however, it's not all bad.... Your sweatshirts, the letters and everything you do for me really helps, it grounds me. You keep your promises you make me, I guess what I am saying is: you are an amazing person, an amazing father and an amazing, beyond amazing husband. I love you so much, so much it hurts....in a good way.

All my Love,

Nikki

P.S. Finally heard from Johnny Depp, not long ago.... the drugs, filming and his abusive bitch of an ex got too him, but Stevie Adler-Lee who's producing an album for Alice Cooper.... Well, Alice took it upon himself to help Johnny out and I feel the way the wind is blowing, those two are falling in love, taking it slow. They remind me of the parallels so much of you and me.

Dear Daddy, From Josephine and Amara,

We miss you; I help Sissy write so this Josephine.... I help take care of mommy, he sad lots but I take care of him, just like you always do for mommy. Mommy protests a lot, saying we should just be kids, but I can tell too it means lots to him. We ask mommy, lots of questions about babies...it special.

Mommy needs you, us too. Mommy said he had a surprise for when you get home and he said for Amara's birthday, it be just us. And remember, you are the bestest husband and daddy ever!

Love lots and lots,

Josephine and Amara

-One day, Daddy I wanna be like you and mommy...and play for lots of people. I practice lots and Amara wanna be a rockstar too. We wanna have bands like you and mommy. Hope you like my pictures mommy help me send!

A/N: Joe is coming home at last; the tour is over and next chapter will be the first of at least 2 parts of Joe being home and it will be from Nikki's POV. Stay tuned my friends!