365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 13

August 4th, 2009

I still don't know how my family was able not to punch me that day. It was an horrible day. A complete mess. 

I stayed in my room until 2PM, when my mom told me she needed me to keep an eye on Safaa while she was going at a appointment with my dad. I was still in pyjama and everything, looking tired as hell. I get downstairs, my eyes almost closed. I let myself fall on the couch, my head next to my sister's thighs. 

- Zaaaaayn ! She shooted, way too happy for me. 

- Safaa... I grumbled. Can you just watch a movie or something ?

- Okay...

She get up and turned the TV on. She pressed the "Play" button of the remote and the DVD in the player started. It was an animation movie, the kind of thing I would watch with her and smile the whole time just to make her happy. But it was way too hard that time. So I just put my arms over my eyes and slept. Again. 

When Mom found me in that position, my sister in the kitchen, she lost it. She started to screamed at me and I looked at her, completely empty. 

- You can't just do that Zayn ! I know, it's summer and everything, but I don't recognize you ! You're not the same since a week ! I'm sure it's that girl, the red-head at the camping ! It all her fault !

- NO IT'S NOT ! 

I let this out, yelling as I would never do. I get up, running upstairs. I pressed my back against the wall, letting myself slide on the ground. I grabbed my head in my hands, trying not to cry. A lot of emotions were stuck inside of me. It was impossible. I was feeling so... empty. And alone. I heard light footsteps on the stairs. And, a few second later, a small knock on the door. 

- Zayn... ? Safaa asked, slowly.

She had her young kid voice, all innocent. It broke my heart, to hear her. Even more when Doniya's voice came to my hears. 

- What are you doing, Safaa ?

- I'm waiting for Zayn to get out.

- He won't get out.

- Why ?

- He needs some space. 

- And I need him.

- Go in the living room.

And I knew Doniya had take Safaa in her arms, because she would never had leave. Their voices broke my heart. They were worried about me. 

During dinner, the tension was palpable. Mom was still angry at me and I was still pretty on the nerves. It was all silence, even with Doniya trying to talk about the wedding she went to. I played on my plate, not really hungry. 

- Zayn, you should eat a bit, Mom said.

- I'm not hungry, I blew, with a hard tone. 

- Don't talk like this to your mom.

I looked to my dad, then to the ceiling. And I blew again. 

- Zayn.

- I'm sorry Mom.

I said that with a total teenage tone. I wanted them to leave me alone. 

- Zayn, Dad grumbled again.

- I'm going to my room, I said while leaving the table.

- Zayn ! Sit down.

- I'LL DO WHATEVER I WANT TO ! I shouted, wanting to slap someone's face. Mainly Derek's one. 

I ran upstairs. And, just before slamming my door, I heard Safaa crying.

- Hey... What's happening Honey ?

- I don't like when Zayn screams. I like when he smiles.

I let myself fall on my bed, under the blankets. And I broke down.

-----

I just realized that Zayn and I have the same age x) Yeap.