365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 71

October 1st, 2009

I wasn't feeling like getting back home after school. My dad was still looking at me weird and I knew he always wanted to punch me when I was near him. Waliyha was looking like she was waiting something from me and that wasn't normal at all. I wasn't feeling like being anywhere. I wasn't even feeling alive. I had been seen Derek and Elizabeth together all day long. I could tell you that seeing the one you love with your worst enemy, it's something pretty exhausting. Morally and physically. I wasn't sure I would be able to keep doing that a long time. 

At the end of the day, I slammed my locker's door and locked it. I walked up to the exit, my bag on one of my shoulder, headphones in my ears. I decided to get back home without the bus, just a walk by myself. With that, I could at least gain a couple of minutes without seeing my dad. As I was getting out of the school parking, my song ended and I heard someone screaming my name.

- Zayn !

I looked over my shoulder, to see Mark that was almost running after me. It hurt a bit. Because when we were inside the school, he wasn't even looking at me. Now, he was trying so damn hard to talk to me. I knew he had been running for a while, his face was all red. 

- You're talking to me again ? I said when he get next to me. 

- I'm... I'm sorry. At school, it's hard. Eli is just... 

He shook his shoulder and I started to walk again. Mark stuck to my feet. 

- I don't know what happened between you two, but she's mad at you. Like... A lot. I can't approach you or she going to scream at me !

I looked at him with the corner of my eyes, he seemed pretty sincere. He smiled sadly to me and, by shaking my shoulder, I told him it was OK. By the way, it wasn't so bad comparing to other things in my life right now. 

- Wanna come home ? He asked while we were waling side to side. 

I nodded, I definitely didn't wanted to get back to my place. We talked about a lot of stuff, but he didn't asked anything about Eli. Which was pretty nice. 

I get back home way too late. Mark's mother invited me to eat with them and I just couldn't refused. It hadn't been such a so bad evening. I laughed a bit - a fake laugh, but still - and I wasn't feeling like a total scrap. I entered my house, no lights were on. I went upstairs and locked my door's room behind me. The little joy I had during the dinner had disappeared. Completely gone. I was feeling empty again. The pain was back, even harder on my heart. Eli was mad at me. That was so damn stuck in my head. And so damn hurtful.

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So ? Great or not ? There's probably a lot of weird mistakes, but I hadn't slept for like... 31h30 hours... x) I'm going to correct everything tomorrow !