365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 5

July 27th, 2009

We left pretty early that morning. I don't know where the camping was, but we were in the car for a good three hours, maybe four. I don't clearly remember. I slept half of the ride, my music on. After a bit, I think Safaa was tired of everyone being in silence, so she started to sing. She always had a beautiful voice. That time, it was even in a happy tone. And, for the last fifteen minutes, we all joined her. For once, Waliyha wasn't telling me how bad I could sing, nor was I. It was just a joyful moment. 

When we got there, Mom and Dad told us to help to get everything out. They after went to the little grocery shop at the entrance of the camping, Waliyha took Safaa to the park. So, Doniya and I were the ones who needed to pitch the tent. It was way too quiet for me, I was thinking too much. About Eli, mostly. It has only been five days and I was already missing her a lot. More than a lot. My sister saw it, so she plugged her cellphone on the little sound system we brought here. Her music made me smile, she always have those pop songs that always are on the radio. So I started to sing, not really loud. 

- You know Liyha's lying, yeah ? She said, stopping what she was doing.

- About what ?

- Your voice. It's awesome.

- Thanks...

I blushed a bit, and we finished to pitch the tent without a word. When everything was in place, my sister sat at the picnic table of our field and made me a sign to join her. As soon as I took place, she grabbed my hand and gave me a serious look. 

- You're okay ? She asked.

- Yeah, don't worry....

I wasn't sure I was. 

- Something's wrong with Elizabeth ?

- No...

I wasn't with her anymore.

- Sure ?

- Yeah.

I broke her heart.

- Zayn... 

- Don't worry Niya, I'm doing OK.

It was hard not to break here, just in front of her. I can remember that I really wanted to cry. So I gave her a small smile and get up. 

- I'll be back at noon.

And I left like that. I needed to be alone for a bit. So I put my headphones and pressed the play button of my cellphone. And I walked through the avenues. It was nice. I didn't really felt alone. Because it was me that wasn't in town. And the fresh air was good for my brain. I read that in a magazine once. During my walk, I taught a lot. About Eli, mostly. Was she with Derek ? Was she already forgetting me ? Did I really break her heart ? Was she mad at me ? Did she cried a lot ? I couldn't know. Breaking up with her was a mistake. I didn't knew if I could take it back. I really hope I could. I needed to talk with her as soon as I'd get back home. I loved her so much. 

The rest of the day was pretty slow. I took Safaa to the pool and Waliyha came with us. We did a bonfire when it became dark. It was my first one. We never did camping or something like that before. It was all new. I ate way too much marshmallow and I did a Chubby Bunny challenge with my sisters. And we all let Safaa won, because she always did that cute smile when she was winning. Always.

It has been two hours since everyone went to sleep. I was between a wall and Doniya. A new song was starting when I heard a girl voice whispering. 

- Zayn ? Zayn, you're asleep ?

I removed an headphone and opened my cellphone to see a bit around me. Safaa was sit on her mattress and hugging her teddy bear. 

- Why you're not sleeping ? I asked.

- I can't. The music is too loud.

Without mine, I could clearly hear it. It was our neighbors, probably doing a party. 

- And there's shadows on the walls... She added with a shy voice. I'm scared Zayn...

I opened my sleeping bag and moved on the mattress. I made her a sign to come. She smiled and grabbed her teddy bear to walk up to me. She put her little head on my chest and I hold her tightly in my arms.

- If there's monsters, you're gonna protect me, yeah ?

- Of course. They'll never touch my princess.

She nodded and I knew she was about to fall asleep. It was great not being alone for the night. Pretty great.

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That entry is pretty long, comparing to the others ! I just had nothing to do on a school trip, I wasn't with my friends on the bus :( Btw, I love writing it  !xx