365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 31

August 22th, 2009

It was the start of the Ramadan today. So, Mom woke me up pretty early, before the sun, to have a small breakfast. I wasn't even hungry. But I ate a bit. It was the first time Safaa was doing it, so she almost ate everything on the table, because she was afraid of dying of starvation during the day. That's what she said. I get off the table when my dad finally told me it was OK and I went back into my room. Trying to sleep a bit. 

I couldn't sleep. I had spend two hours in bed, looking at the ceiling. I has been three days almost without sleep. I was looking tired. At least, I thought that when I saw my face in the mirror. I had huge dark circles under my eyes. And they were a bit red. I shook my head, making my hair falling in my face. Hiding a bit the massacre that had become my facial features. I took a fast shower. When I get out, the sun was finally up. I went downstairs, looking at some cartoons with Safaa. I had slept with her the day before, because she was afraid I was mad at her. I think she still was, as soon as I sat on the couch that she laid her head against my knee. It made me sad to think that. My little princess was afraid that I was mad at her. I let my fingers passing through her hair and she smiled a bit. 

- Zayn... ? She asked, after seeing a third episode of Scooby-Doo.

- What ? You want to sleep ?

- No...

She looked like she wanted a thing she could have. I thought I knew what it was. 

- I'm hungry...

- Saf... I said, laughing a bit. It's only ten in the morning !

- Look at my tummy ! She exclaimed, pulling up her t-shirt. It's huuuuuge ! He needs food !

- You said you were old enough to do it, this year... 

- I'm sorry Zayn...

Her eyes were all wet, as she was going to cry. I passed my thumb on her cheek, smiling a bit.

- You don't have to Princess... You'll see, it will be easier with years. 

She hugged me, but I knew she was ashamed to be hungry. I hold her tight, to tell her she didn't had to be. That she was still a little princess. 

Waliyha came back from her friend's house as I was setting up the table. She smiled and hugged everyone, except from me. She just whispered a small "Oh, you still live there..." before talking about how incredible it has been. I just wanted to tell her to give me back my charger. She was getting on my nerves already. We kind of insult each others during all the evening, without our parents understanding. It was the "teen" language, so they didn't knew. But I think that, when I got into my room, slamming the door, that something wrong had been said. At least, I hope so.

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I didn't wanted to do that at all... but yeah ! Let's improvise !