365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 56

September 16th, 2009

I told my mom I didn't wanted to go to school that day. And she just said I could stay home. I think she wasn't feeling like fighting with me over that. And I wasn't feeling like fighting with her neither. I just couldn't go at school. It would have been way too hard to just sit behind a desk while Safaa was still at the hospital. So I ate quickly that morning, before taking a shower. I put some clothes on and I was out in the streets of Bradford. Direction ? The hospital. 

I walked, that time. I didn't took the car again. My mom said nothing, but I knew that when my Dad would be home... It would be so different. He would scream, for sure. You'll know later if he did. When I entered into the hospital, it was still too early for the visitor. So I waited in the hall, my feet taping on the ground. Until I saw that it was 8 o'clock. The lady behind her desk made me a sign to go, I think she was tired of seeing me. I had asked her at least ten times if she could do an exception to me, because it was my sister. But she always said no. 

I almost ran up to her room. I really wanted to see her. Even tough the doctors had told my mom she was all right the day before and that they were only keeping her in observation. I wanted to hold her in my arms and told her I was sorry to not making her feel better. I wanted... I just wanted my little sister. And I was so happy to see her in her bed, sitting and watching the TV. I almost taught that I would cry. She turned her head and, when she saw me, she started to smile. A lot.

- Zayyyyn !

- Hey, Princess... I said while getting in her bed, because she was patting the mattress next to herself. You're feeling better ?

- Way better ! Can I go home ?

- They're keeping you until 5 PM.

- But you're staying with me ?

- Of course I am !

She seemed pretty happy. And she put her arms around my waist and her head on my chest. She was cute. And she was alright. 

We spend all the day together, watching cartoons and reading some imagery books, until we got home to eat and sleep almost immediately. During that day, I even read her Peter Pan, because it's her favorite book. And she told me she never wanted to grow up. She told me she wanted to stay young forever. And I smiled, because I knew she wouldn't. But I wanted her to stay my young little sister forever. I wanted her to stay my sunshine, my baby, my princess. I wanted a lot of things. But, that night, when she felt asleep in my arms, I only wanted her to stay with me forever. 

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So..... ? What are you thinking about ? 

I wasn't feeling like writing today but I think it ended up being something not too bad !