365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 72

October 2nd, 2009

- Zayn ! Can I drive you to school ?

That's the first thing I heard as I walked downstairs. Doniya was on the hall, playing with her keys. I shook my shoulder then went into the kitchen to find a quick breakfast. After, I grabbed my bag that was on the ground and I joined my sister, who was in the car now. I sat on the passenger seat and she turned to motor on. She was driving through the streets when she started to speak. 

- How you're doing Zayn ?

- Good.

I said that with a hard tone, I couldn't do otherwise. I was tired, again and again. The night with Mark seemed already too far away. 

- Don't lie Zayn.

- I'm not lying.

- Yes you are. Is it because of Dad ?

I looked in front of me, staring at the road. Biting my lips a bit. 

- How do you know ? I asked, almost in silence. 

- I heard the screaming, you know...

- Oh...

I couldn't find nothing else to say. By the way, what more could I say ? He said that I was stupid so I was. We were in front of the school by that time, so I just went out of the car and walked into the building. Ready for an other long day. 

It has been exactly that. A pretty long day. Mark was doing like I wasn't existing again. It hurt. Derek was kissing Elizabeth. It hurt. Eli was laughing at Derek's jokes. It hurt. I can't even know how I can back home alive. My heart was hurting so much, this couldn't be real. I didn't wanted that to be real. I wanted to wake up. That never happened. 

My dad was home that night. We all sat at the table and it was silent. Waliyha wasn't looking at no one, only staring at the table. Safaa had her head in her hands, her eyes closed. Doniya was playing with her food. The parents were staring at each other. And I was giving glances to the clock, waiting for that dinner to be over. 

- Doniya, can you gave me the butter please ?

That's what my dad asked. And the butter was clearly nearer to me than to my sister. She blew a bit and I taught she would gave him. But she didn't did it. She just looked dark to our dad.

- What ? He said.

- He's too stupid for you that you can't even TALK to him ?

- Doniya.

- What ?

- That's between me and Zayn.

- You should have taught about that before screaming. It's getting on everyone's nerves.

- It's his fault. 

- IT'S HIS FAULT ? You know what is his fault ? It's his fault if Safaa is still alive ! He never did a thing wrong ! Never. He did way better than you on that case. He's my bro. I won't let you talk to him that way.

She was crying as she said that. She then get off the table and ran upstairs. I did the same a few seconds later, soon enough to came into her room before she slammed the door. I did it for her, as she was going into her bed. I joined her and she put her face on my shoulder. She wasn't stopping crying. 

- Doniya, you're... I started, my voice trembling. I love you.

- I love you too lil bro...

-----

SO ? Good or not ? I'm still freaking too tired, I don't even know if what I'm writing makes sense or not. *The corrector isn't working, I'm correcting everything tomorrow.