365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 91

October 21th, 2009

I was eating all alone that day, sitting in my locker. I wasn't even going at the cafeteria anymore, because Derek's comments were really starting to hurt me. I finished my sandwich and threw the bag on the garbage not too far away from my position. I had my music in my ears, as always. I wasn't giving much attention to the lyrics, I was only hearing the melody. It was a sad thing, again and again. I was only listening to that kind of stuff. I put my sleeve up and looked down to see yesterday's scar. It was there, taunting me. Just as the others. I knew I wasn't strong and they were there to remind me that fact. I was slipping my sleeve down when someone turned into the hallway where I was. I blew when I saw Jessica, Eli's best friend. You know, the one I had slept with ? She stood next to me, a smile on her face. Her lips were moving, but I wasn't hearing a thing, I still had my headphones on. When she saw that I wasn't understanding a thing, she put them out and gave me a dark look.

- Headphones on means no talking, I told her.

Before I could put them on again, she had them in her hands. She really seemed like she wasn't going to leave me alone. 

- You hurt Elizabeth, you know right ?

- It wasn't my goal.

- Oh, for really ?

Her eyebrows went up and down and I looked up to the sky. I wasn't a jerk, I didn't wanted to hurt her. Even if she broke me.

- Yeah. 

- So with did you fuck with me ?

- I was wasted. Now, live me alone.

I tried to get my headphones back but she wasn't giving up. I was starting to get mad. I was missing some hours of sleep, my patience was way shorter than the other days. 

- You wanted it ?

- What ? I shouted, before having a small laugh.

- You wanted to make out with me ?

- Yeah, in your dreams Sweetie...

- Most of my dreams come true.

- Most. Not this one. 

- You're so damn dim-witted ! 

I blew and looked up to the sky. I was only waiting for her to leave me alone. I wasn't staying all alone for nothing. I was tired of trying to be nice. So I was staying away from people. 

- I wanted to make a deal with you.

- I don't mind.

- You gain to hurt Eli and I gain your body. 

- I don't want to hurt her, so keep your deal for yourself. 

- You want, you just don't know yet.

The bell rang as she said that and it was probably the first time I was happy that it did. If I had to hear Jessica one more time, I was about to slap her. I grabbed my things and closed my locker before starting to walk up to my class. I really didn't wanted to hurt Eli. Even if she was doing that to me. I only wanted my old life back. And hurting Elizabeth wasn't a part of this.

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So, I didn't really where this entry would take me, it's kind of boring actually, but I needed to write it quickly, I need to get ready, I'm going to a concert tonight and... No one minds, so... Goodbye x)