365 days of Darkness // Z.M.

Day 182

January 20th, 2010

If someone ever reads this, they're going to think that, all I was doing in that center, was going to see my psychologist. Well, dear you reading this, it was exactly what I was doing. That, and fighting over my demons. Yeah, since Alexis' visit, I had wanted to fight them. Weird thing. 

So, I was sitting on the couch in Dr. Jefferson's office, remembering everything the red-head had told me. How much it felt great to have her next to me, hearing her voice saying the most random shit ever... I had never thought that I would felt like this again. It surely wasn't feeling great, but it was less bad than the last month or so. 

- Was it great to see her again ? The doctor asked. Alexis, I mean. 

I nodded, a shy smile coming up to my lips. 

- It was... It was nice. I had miss her. 

- What did you guys do all night ? No need to tell me, I'm just being curious about what this couch saw, that's all. 

My smiled grew a bit and I looked up. Before everything, this would had made me laugh, I was sure. It was the kind of thing that Mark would have said. Thinking about Mark, I didn't had news of him since he brought Alexis to the hospital... I found myself wondering how he was doing. Then I remembered Dr. Jefferson's question. I wasn't use to talking to someone back then, I had some difficulties to focus on something. 

- We just talked... She told me she knew you, you were her psychologist when she was in there... We said the same things as when we first met, nothing really important... Just random stuff... And, don't worry, your couch didn't see neither of us naked. 

He laughed at my words, giving me an happy smile.

- Thanks God ! It's none of my business if you guys are making it, but on my couch... I'm glad you didn't.

Once again, I found myself smiling. It was a bit weird, yet... It wasn't feeling so bad neither. Seeing Alexis in there and hearing about her story just turned everything upside down. 

- She asked me to see you since the day you got admitted. 

- That's totally her... I muttered, smiling. 

- How are you feeling, now ?

I took a moment to think about that. I didn't clearly knew. It was a strange feeling inside of me, I wasn't sure of what it was. 

- Better. Seeing her... It just reminded me some things I had forgot. 

- That's good. I'm glad to hear that.

I smiled a bit again and looked down to my hands, lying on my knees. Going to see my psychologist was less and less painful with each passing day. I was almost glad I had those sessions. Because, even though I had to talk, my nurse wasn't right behind me, watching my every move. And, that was feeling great. Back then, I was going up otherwise than down. 

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Hey guyyyys ! How did you find this ? Good or not ?

Won't be posting tomorrow (probably not, at least) I'm going to my boyfriend's and I'll come back home later... Anywayyyy ! Have a good day tomorrow everyone ! xx