paracosm

[ 11 ] PART TWO | REBEL.

PARACOSM

JJK. | PART TWO | REBEL.

A/N

before i start this imagine, i want to tell you guys that bolded and italicized words are lyrics from a song. italicized words are your thoughts. bolded words are just "quotes" from me. now let's get going to the imagine!

ara's POV

'she'll never know your story like i do'

it's been 3 weeks now. 3 weeks since he left me standing outside the police station. 3 weeks since i lost the only good thing in my life. jeon jungkook. i stopped imagining to see him a week ago. 

but that's because i actually saw him. with another girl. walking hand in hand. she was pretty. she was nice. she wasn't troubled like i was. she's not me and that breaks my heart. but she's perfect for him. she's perfect. he's perfect.

a perfect fairytale. but i'm not in it. how stupid was i to think that jungkook could have been happy with a troubled girl like me? stupid. but i am selfish. 

'you belong with me'

i was so selfish. i want Jungkook. i still do. he belongs with me. i know him better than his new girlfriend ever could. throughout all my years, all the pain, the bruises, the beatings, this is by far the worst pain i've ever felt. 

i felt alone. i am alone.

i saw his Instagram page, he deleted all of our photos and posted ones of her and him. even i can admit they are cute. i was sitting on my floor in my house, it was a mess. for three reasons. one, i was angry and hurting so i, of course, started throwing things. 

second, the usual, i got in trouble. i went out and drank. got me in trouble, two guys followed me home. i got what i deserved. i've got a black puffy eye, busted lip, bruises covering and i think my wrist is snapped. 

third, i started to not care about my state. i go out and let myself be. i don't care whether i would get hit by a car, or fall down unconscious. i started cutting myself, not caring if i died because of blood loss.

'you say you're fine i know you better than that'

i had texted Jungkook. many times. i asked how he was. he said he was fine and never texted back. but I knew him better than that. something was going on. 

but i wasn't fine either. i was only ever fine when i knew jungkook was by my side. my wrist throbbed as the pouring rain smashed heavily down onto the roof. it was thundering, but it didn't drown out my cries. 

my house was dark but my face was lit up by my phone. i stared at jungkook's latest post. a picture of Jungkook smiling with his happy girlfriend behind him. they were at dinner, looking fancy and eating well. "what are you doing with a girl like that?" i looked through the comments. some said they were perfect together and they are. others were saying things like "where's ara, i liked her, she was interesting" that was the majority of the comments. 

they either loved her or loved me. but that didn't matter because jungkook loves her. not me. i cried harder as i threw my phone to the wall making it smash. 

'standing by and waiting at your back door,'

"ARA I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE!!" i jump at the sound. i was hearing things again. i banged my head with my hand. 

'stop hearing his voice! he's not coming back!'

"ARA OPEN THE DOOR!" that was real. it had to be. as quick as i could, which wasn't very quick due to the pain. i rose to my feet and opened the door. it was dark but i saw his figure. jungkook stood there, soaking wet in his beautiful tux that he was wearing in the picture. 

'i remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night'

"ara i'm so fucking sorr- oh my god what the hell happened to you?" he was crying but stopped when he saw my state. he pushed himself through the door and shut the door behind him. he turned on a lamp that made the room lit up. 

"oh my god, what happened to you? who did this?" he got closer and went to inspect me but i stepped back. 

"why are you here jungkook?" i said silently crying. he put his hand down and sighed. 

"i-i miss you. i miss getting a call from you during the night. i miss even people judging me for being with you because i love you. i even miss the worrying sick about you cause i still can't stop thinking about you." 

"what about that girl?" i asked. 

'you belong with me,'

"she... she was nice... but she wasn't you. she was too... too perfect and that was boring. she was perfect for everyone, but you are perfect for me. and i know i fucked up okay? i get that. i do. and i'm so sorry i wasn't here when you needed me. but you belong with me."

after he said that none of us said anything. it was him shivering and breathing heavy and me standing there bruised and heartbroken. i didn't know what to say. so instead i grabbed a blanket on the couch and gave it to him. he gratefully took it. 

"i'm sorry as well jungkook. i'm sorry for being trouble. i'm sorry for causing it, bringing it and giving it to you. i'm-" jungkook took one large stride and he was standing an inch away. i held my breath and looked up at him. his eyes looked so sad. 

"ara you listen to me. yes, you're trouble and you're addicted to it. but i'm addicted to you and you're trouble. now please, can you forgive me?" 

"of course stupid," i smiled and kissed him. he melted into it and wrapped his hand around my waist. i winced as he touched a bruise.

he pulled back and his eyes filled with worry. he lifted up my shirt and saw the bruises and cuts. his eyes widened. "okay, we're going to go into the kitchen and i'll take care of this while you tell me what happened okay?" i nodded. 

jungkook's POV

i put down the first aid kit next to ara who was sitting on the kitchen bench. just like all the other times before. i saw out of the corner of my eyes her try and lift up her shirt. my ears caught the slight wince she let out.

i stopped what i was doing and helped her. i slowly and carefully lifted her shirt over her head. i glanced over all the bruises and took a deep breath. i felt a pang in my chest. 

"what happened?" i ask feeling anger rise in me as i grabbed what i needed. i put cream on my finger to put over her bruises. 

"i went out to the bar because you know..." she points to me. i nodded feeling guilty, because of me leaving. i wish i never left. 

she continued as i listened. "well i know i've never been the biggest crier, but um... i was crying at the bar," my head shot up. i saw her eyes water but she blinked them back. i wanted to hit myself. she would have never admitted to something like that. it made me feel even worse. i dabbed softly at her bruises. 

"these two guys asked if i was okay, but i told them to fuck off." she scoffed at herself, "they didn't seem to like that very much. i shoved one of them out my way and drunkenly walked home. they followed." ara didn't have to finish the story. i already knew what happened next. i felt my fists clench as i seethed through my teeth. 

"do you know who did it?" i tried to sound calm but it was obviously not working. i wanted to find who hurt ara and hurt them. Shesheshook her head as i finished up on the bruises. i slammed my heads down heavily on the counter. ara jumped. 

"ara, i understand you get into trouble but if it leaves you in actual danger then it needs to stop. people following you home and beating you is too far. how am i supposed to protect you?" my voice cracked in the last sentence as my own eyes water. 

"hey hey Jungkook, look at me," ara's good hand rested on my cheek as she wiped away a tear of mine. i blinked the rest back. i looked at her. "it's over, i promise. you're back now,"