twenty two

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Quinn O'Connell stood on the balcony of her new bedroom, looking out into the gloomy darkness of the forest

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Quinn O'Connell stood on the balcony of her new bedroom, looking out into the gloomy darkness of the forest. She felt frozen, conflicted because she had received everything she had ever wanted... Freedom, family... yet, all she could do was hold onto the pains of the past. The world was working against her and she didn't know what to do about it.

"Quinn" Alice's voice was delicate, soft as a butterflies wings as she hopped to sit up on the railing, completing a miraculous balancing act that wasn't even a challenge to her. Quinn knew she should fear those people, the vampires but she refused to see them as monsters.. She couldn't, not after the real monsters she had met. "Carlisle comes back from the hospital soon... I think you should talk to him."

"Why Alice? Why does everyone keep telling me to talk to Carlisle?"

"Maybe if you ask him... He'll tell you. I know you're attracted to him Quinn, and that's okay." Alice smiled and Quinn shook her head, her blue eyes dancing with tears.

"No, it's not okay. Because Carlisle is too pure... He's too perfect Alice. I think about becoming a vampire, and the first thing I want to do it rip Jensen Hargreaves head off... I want revenge and Carlisle is too sweet for that. I just want to cause pain, to make myself feel better."

"Quinn" Rosalie seemed to appear from nowhere, with her voice like an angel. "When I was turned, the first thing I did was track down the people who had wronged me and sought my revenge. And it didn't help, because after that... I just felt like a monster, I had become the monster that they were. Revenge isn't what you need, acceptance is. When I found Emmett... That was when I truly accepted who I was for the first time, accepted all the pain of the past. You need to find your Emmett and, I know that I'm not supposed to be the one to tell you this... But, I think Carlisle is him. You're worrying about how Carlisle will think of you, because of all the thoughts going through your head but Carlisle is the most forgiving and accepting person I have ever met. The night I killed those people, I returned home and he burnt the clothes I was wearing for me, he hugged me and promised that he was going to help me get through it. Because that's the decent person that Carlisle is. No matter what you are thinking or feeling... He will help you with it." the three women stood in silence for a long time, each processing their own thoughts.

"I'm scared"

"He is too" Alice promised as they heard the unmistakable crunch of tires in the darkness. The patriarch was home and Quinn promised herself, before she had the chance to change her mind, that she would speak to him. Quinn needed answers and assurance and Carlisle Cullen was the only one who could provide that for her.

"Good luck" Rosalie smiled because she knew that the conversation could only end well. Carlisle wouldn't allow it to go sour. So when Quinn exited the room and took a seat at the desk in Carlisle's room, under the faint yellow glow of his desk lamp, her heart pounded angrily but she was prepared to ask the questions that needed answering and with every second that ticked closer to her receiving the answers she desired... She felt calmer.

"Quinn?" his voice was so calming to her, like submerging beneath warm water... But you could somehow breathe better. He was in the shadows, confused to see her sat there in the lamplight but she knew the time had come to get and give some answers. All she wanted to do was sit and listen to him talk for hours, watch him. He was like art to her, and now she needed to know why.

"Carlisle... Rosalie told me that you are 'my Emmett' and I need you to tell me the truth. The whole truth. Please." her voice was calm, like gently flowing water and he sighed as he dropped his bag and took a seat in the armchair. He was in the range of the lamplight now and she could see his beautiful face and shimmering gold eyes as he stared at her, contemplating his thoughts as he rubbed a hand over his face.

"Rosalie was right Quinn. Vampires live for eternity, it is just a fact of the status... I have lived for three hundred and sixty two years... With supernatural life, comes supernatural love. Humans, they can marry someone they say they love and then be bored of them in fifty years. Vampires have forever so they need to have a love that lasts forever. However, we only get one, some never do. Esme has searched her whole life and Is yet to find hers. You, Quinn O'Connell. You are my forever love. Before you say anything... please, just, hear me out. Because I have thought about this, about all of it.

When I first met you, a thousand thoughts crossed my mind in a second. You were this utterly stunning creature, the most beautiful female I'd ever laid eyes on and in a second, my entire being shifted because all I wanted was to keep you safe, to give you the best life. But you are so young, barely eighteen, barely even an adult. And I knew that I would likely have to wait for you, I'm a patient man Quinn, I could wait forever for you... I need you to know that. But then, just as I had accepted the fact that I would have to wait in the sidelines until you were old enough to love me in return... Edward and Alice came to me.

And I found out that my soulmate, my forever love, was living in a world of hurt. I saved every member of this family and some point or another and for some reason I don't quite understand, they believe that they owe me something... So they made it their mission to repay the favour... They made it their mission to save my forever love. And when they met you, when they genuinely considered making you a part of this family. They found that they wanted to.

It didn't matter anymore that you were just shy of eighteen because you were going to join our family. And you were so hurt, all I wanted was to be close to you, to make you feel better and take away the pain. I understand that you're still young Quinn, and just because I have pledged to love you for all of my life, to protect you. Does not mean that you have to do the same, you can love whoever you want to love, or nobody at all. I know that you have gone through some horrible experiences, and that you're struggling even now. But I will love you no matter what, no matter what you have to do to make yourself feel better. I have enough love for the both of us Quinn, to love you even if you cannot love yourself."

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