I'll Fight Hell to Hold You

I'm Trying To Do Better

It was now February 17th and Tommy was 4 months along. Ever since the night in Madrid that Paul had found Tommy's stash of sharp objects, he had been watching Tommy like a hawk. Things had been uneasy  because of that. Tommy stopped asking if he could go out because Paul demanded to know where, when he would be back and why he was going.

Tommy was in the kitchen washing dishes and warming up water for bottles while Paul was supposedly in the in-house studio writing song lyrics. Sighing, Tommy filled up bottles and set them in the refrigerator for later. Poking his head into the studio, he found it empty. "Paul?" "Baby?" he called. "I'm going upstairs."

When he got no answer, he wiped away a tear and called Eric. Letting loose his feelings, he let his tears flow. "He doesn't trust me, Er. He keeps me on a short leash and I can't even find him!!!" "He's gone!"

"Hey, hey! Calm down. Paul and Gene went to the store for diapers." "Draco busted all the size 4."

"It takes two of them!" "I promise nothing's going on."

Eric talked him into taking a shower and trying to relax. "Paul's coming back." "You're going to stress yourself into an early delivery."

"I DON'T WANT THIS ONE!!!" cried Tommy. "I'm causing nothing but trouble."

Hanging up, he cried himself to sleep after taking a shower. 

When Paul came home, he had already been chewed out by Eric. He headed up to check on the triplets who were sound asleep in the nursery. Kissing each one of them, he headed to the master bedroom. His husband was curled up on his side of the bed, holding their wedding picture. "Oh baby." Paul sighed. Stroking Tommy's cheek, he placed a kiss on it and squeezed his hand.

Tommy opened his eyes and scooted away from Paul. "Paul, I'm sorry!" "I'm just a useless burden that has to be chaperoned because I can't be trusted! Just lock me away and get rid of the keys!"

"Thomas Cunningham Thayer- Stanley! Stop this bullshit right now!" "If I thought you were a burden, you'd know it." "We went through this already." "Now, let's go watch a movie and have snacks." "I don't want to hear anything else about it."

Paul took Tommy's hand and led him downstairs. He had been talking to Gene about what he should do. Paul wanted to put Tommy back into the hospital until he was completely able to jump back into reality. Gene had suggested waiting until the baby was born.