I'll Fight Hell to Hold You

Going Home

Tommy was released to Paul's care a few days after being admitted. He was on a new round of meds and had been given instructions to follow once he was at home. He had been warned about getting pregnant again and was advised to at least wait one year. 

Tommy actually looked forward to going home. He wanted to have a heart to heart with Paul before he chickened out and backed down. Texting his husband, he waited to be picked up. While waiting, he took a shower and cleaned up. Still not trusting himself with razors or scissors, he skipped shaving. 

When Paul walked in, Tommy leapt into his arms and hugged him tight. "Paul I love you so so much and I'll never cut myself again and I don't want to leave and I  promise to talk to you when I  feel bad and I'll be the perfect mate and...." Paul cut him off with a heartfelt kiss.

"First of all, I love you too. Secondly I don't want you to feel like you should have to anymore. Thirdly, were you leaving and why? Fourth of all, I do want you to talk to me so I can help and lastly I don't expect perfectionism. I know we'll both let each other down occasionally but it's expected." "Now, let's get you shaven and I'll brush your hair." 

Paul had brought an electric razor with him so he could shave Tommy without worry. As he ran the razor over his husband's face, he talked to him lovingly. "I love you Tom. I have the instructions from the doctor and, yes, I promise we won't have another child too soon." 

"Paul, I, um, don't want anymore. I love Taylor, Hannah, Aurora and Mady but I don't want any more. I don't want you to be mad at me. I want to heal as they grow. Do you still love me even if I don't want any more?"

"Baby, yes. I love you. If that's your wish then I'm okay with it." Paul leaned over and kissed Tommy. 

"Paul, could we go out to dinner? Not right now because I look horrible, but tomorrow."

"Sure, we'll go out tomorrow. Do you want steak, seafood or something else?"

"A nice steak."

Paul and Tommy left the hospital soon, Paul patiently pushing his husband in a wheelchair. He helped Tommy into the passenger side and buckled him in.