I'll Fight Hell to Hold You

Tommy's P.O.V.

I was devastated to hear the conversation going on downstairs. As I turned to run, I could see Paul trying to follow me. I don't hate him nor do I want to leave him but this really hurts. I can forgive him because I hurt him doing the same thing. Am I crazy? Maybe. I love him deeply though. 

As the house grew silent, I could feel myself giving into the demons again. "NO!" I said to myself. "YOU HAVE CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF!" My self control grew weaker as time passed. I remember picking up my phone and just crying to the first person I could get ahold of. Turns out it was Pat. Knowing him, he'll drop everything and come. 

His voice cut through my addled brain. "TOM!" 

"Yes. I'm here. Okay. I'll wait here. I won't hurt myself." I remember saying as I hung up. 

I can see my phone continuously ringing and blinking but I ignore it. I somehow stand up and walk to the stairs. As I contemplate throwing myself down them, the door opens and someone grabs me in a hug. I look up expecting Pat but it's Pete. My former drummer and my friend. He's shorter than me but somehow he carries me to bed and gets me settled. 

"Pete?" I ask. "What did I do so wrong? I love Paul so much. I want him to come back."

"You're too loving for your own good. " came the reply. "Now, try to sleep for awhile."

"I need to go find him. I'll apologize to him. It's my fault."

I can hear Pete struggling to stay quiet. Finally he just hands me the phone.