I'll Fight Hell to Hold You

Heart To Heart In The Hospital

Tommy had been able to pull himself together with Eric's help before Paul came in.

"I'm heading home, Tom. I'll check on you later." said Eric, giving him a hug before leaving.

When Paul came in, Tommy was sitting up in bed waiting for him. "Paul, I meant what I said."

"I know baby. I came to talk to you."

Paul asked Tommy if he would let him talk first. "I have to get something off my chest."

Tommy nodded and let Paul sit on the  bed. He slid his hand into Paul's and squeezed. "Paul, do you hate me and Hannah?" "I need to know." "Then you can say what you need to."

"Baby, why would I hate you or my child?" "I realize we both screwed up and made mistakes but I will never hate you or Hannah." "As far as getting pregnant on purpose, I was just as guilty. I could have insisted we wait or that I wore protection, but I didn't." Paul leaned over and kissed Tommy. "We are married, We will argue and disagree but I will never ever stop loving you. Nor will I ever stop loving the girls."

Paul then asked Tommy if he wanted to talk. "If you don't that's fine too. " 

Tommy took a few minutes to compose himself. "I-I-I feel the need to harm myself because I-I-I was......I can't. I'm sorry. " "It happened when ....."

Paul didn't force Tommy to continue. He held him close and rubbed his back. "If you can't talk about it, it's fine."

"When we were in Dublin, I,um, remember being wasted and going back to the hotel room with ...,you know. We were both drunk I think and I said I didn't want to but I was told you would be okay with it so I did and I realized later it was a bad idea and now look and..."Tommy trailed off and stopped talking. "Paul? Did you okay that?"

"Baby? Why would I okay something with someone I don't really even like?" "As much as you hate to admit it, it was rape." He saw the look in Tommy's eyes as his husband realized he had been taken advantage of by someone he had trusted and loved. "I will never do that."

The flood gates opened as Tommy started crying. He continued to cry so much he got sick. Paul had to finally call for a sedative to calm him down.