I'll Fight Hell to Hold You

Telling Paul Everything Part 2

After an hour or so of crying and stopping, Tommy continued. "When I first found out I was pregnant, I hated myself  so much. I didn't want the babies at all. I knew you'd be so mad that you'd beat me so I was afraid to tell you. I freaked out even more when I found out Hannah wasn't yours. Once again I just knew you'd abuse me over it. I was so scared when she was born that you'd put all of us out."

"Why in the holy hell would I had ever hit you? I don't play that game."

"I-I-I thought I was pregnant at 18. I was so excited that I couldn't wait to tell Jaime. He went on a screaming tirade that lasted until he passed out from drinking too much. I ran into the night so upset. Pat had to chase me down and we sat in the rain. He hugged me until I quit crying and could go back to face Jaime who had completely forgotten about it. I swore I'd never get pregnant ever!" "When I found out I was, I couldn't deal with it." "When I discovered Hannah wasn't yours I let my fears take over."

Paul knew that this was a massive load off Tommy's mind so he pulled him close and held him silently. "I'm so glad you were able to do this. I love you so much." 

Tommy laid in Paul's embrace not speaking. He wanted to tell Paul he was scared still but he couldn't. "Tom? What are you scared of still?"

"You'll leave me because of what I just told you." admitted Tommy finally.

"I'm not perfect either, baby. Let's go see if we can get you home. I love you. I love our family so let's go be one."

"Oh, Paul, I never was pregnant at 18. I guess it's a good thing."

"Let's go home Tom. I miss you." "And yes, I'm glad too that I was the first one to give you a child."

Tommy followed Paul to the therapist's office. He was happy and sad at the same time.