I'll Fight Hell to Hold You

July Birth Approaches

It was July 4th. Paul had gotten gene to reluctantly accept his invitation to the fireworks show. Eric only went because Gene agreed. Bruce, Pat, Pete, and Jeff said okay but only if Paul agreed to stay by Tommy's side.

Tommy had dressed the girls in red, white, and blue outfits with matching bows. He had on a red/white/blue shirt with blue jean shorts and flip flops. The others came in some variation of the colors. Gene had on a huge light up top hat with feathers. 

Tommy felt queasy most of the night but he didn't tell Paul. Eric had already sat down to feed Draco and Delilah. He dozed off on the blanket soon. Tommy laid Aurora down, her ears covered. Hannah was half asleep by Delilah, sucking her thumb and Taylor was almost asleep by Draco who had been sucking on a watermelon rind. Tommy tried staying awake but soon dozed off next to Eric. 

Ten days  later, Tommy woke up to the smell of coffee. Paul had brought up breakfast on a tray . He started feeding Tommy so he could stay in bed. "You're due tomorrow. I already have our bags packed."

"Ours? Who said you're going to be there? I do truly  still love you but I'm still hurting. I want to do this alone." 

Paul didn't know how to respond. Finally he just nodded and walked to the bathroom. He tried not to cry.

Coming back out, he couldn't look at Tommy. "If that's how you feel."

Tommy sighed as he turned over. "I don't know how I feel." "I want you there but I don't. I love you but I hate you too. I want to live but I don't." "I just don't want to do anything except open my veins. I can't because I'll kill Mady if I die but I don't care at the same time."

Gene had come up to check on Tommy and heard the statement. "Paul, I think it's best if you leave to another room for awhile." He walked in and sat down. "Tom, I know I asked you to hold off on getting help until after the birth. I truly think it's time to get it. After the baby comes, I want you to consider it. You need to talk to someone desperately."

Tommy didn't respond. He just stayed silent until Gene left. He then got out of bed and walked to the window. Staring out of it, he rubbed his stomach and watched the rain that had come up.