I'll Fight Hell to Hold You

Breakthrough

At the hospital, Tommy was coherent enough to know he was restrained. He could see Eric talking to someone. He tried to ask a question but nothing came out. Finally he managed to whisper, "Eric? "

"Tom!" 

"Why?" "Want out."

Tommy felt a pair of baby blue eyes bore into him. "If I get you undone, I don't want you near anything sharp. You tried cutting your wrists." 

Tommy nodded and pulled at the restraints. "Please?" he pleaded. "I'm sorry."

"Let me see if I can find the doctor. " 

Tommy was unrestrained but put under suicide watch. He was allowed nothing sharp in his room. Eric had to hold his belongings and not let him have anything. "You can assist him eating but under no circumstances are you to give him anything."

Eric slid the duffle bag under the chair and went to sit on Tommy's bed. He could see the fear and hurt in his bandmate's eyes. "Tom, I don't have any idea what you're going through but I want to help. "If you want to talk to me, I'm here. I won't judge, criticize or belittle you."

"Eric, you know how Hannah's not Paul's? I'm afraid as she gets older, he'll hate her. I purposely got pregnant with Mady to give him another child that's fully his. Tay and Rory are but there's always Hannah. I think he hates us both."

"Paul doesn't hate you or Hannah. " "Tom, you're only telling me half the story. What else are you hiding?"

Tommy pushed up his sleeves. "I cut to ease the pain of feeling unloved and useless. Paul doesn't do that but---"

"Jaime's still got an iron grip on your heart, doesn't he?" "I know you said you cut ties with him but did you really?" "You feel like you're not worthy of him so you cut. Tom, let go of him. You wear Paul's ring so focus on him." 

"I'll never feel worthy of anyone. I'm just on Earth to be a filler. You're just being nice to me out of pity."

Eric wanted to slap sense into Tommy but he bit back his anger and turned away. "If I was just pitying you, I'd tell you so. I truly care for you." "Please tell Paul what you told me and then both of you get therapy."

Tommy begged Eric  to tell Paul what had happened. "I promise I won't cut again. If I do, then you can lock me up until I heal."

"I want you to promise yourself that. Do it for the girls and Paul. Do it for Gene and me and all your loved ones. Do it because you're going to fight the inner turmoil in your mind. Do it because you're worthy of love and affection. Don't do it just to get us off your case."

Tommy slowly nodded and began to text Paul. He vowed to take it one day at a time.