Magic Mirror #2

Seven Angels 🇵🇹

Hi! I'm Mariana and I am from Portugal 🇵🇹 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I am 20 years old and I'm from Portugal. I became part of ARMY in January of 2021, it's really not that long but it's already the six most wonderful months of my life.

I first listened to BTS three years ago but I guess I wasn't prepared and I guess it just didn't happened. But it finally came back when I needed the most. So it was January, recently new year, and I was just living my life day by day but there was a really bad thing happening. I had been struggling with depression and suicidal thougths and attempts for the past nine months.

I am in college so I was away from home and I didn't tell anyone till February of this year. So being away just made it easier for me to just want to give up. The reason why this happen it wasn't just one. I was not liking the degree that I was taking, I didnt had any goals for my life. I was completely lost, something that never happen before in my twenty years of living. I gave up eating and skipped every meal, I struggled with getting out of bed, I didn't talk to anyone besides my family and I lied to them saying everything was okay.

Every night when I lay in bed I just looked out of the window and thought of the worst. I remember really clearly the thought that I had. "Why don't I just jump front this window and everything ends?" At that point I knew that I was completely desperate to just die.

It became worst as the time passed by and at this point I made my first attempted of suicide but luckily it got interrupted. Then a month passed and I tried it again but this time I just couldn't do it because of my fear of dissapointing my family.

Then it happen, seven angels came in my life out of nowhere.

For context, since I remember I have been performing in stages for school and other projects, and because of that I started listening to random music just to create choreographies in my head.

And that its what I was doing the night BTS came in my life. I was listening to music and choreographing random song until "Dynamite" came on. I remember that I loved it so much that I search their other songs and it was "Boy with luv" that started everything. I searched every song, every perfomance, every possible video that I could see that night. And I just fell in love for everything they did. Then "Magic Shop" came and I couldn't hold my tears anymore and until this day I still cry hearing it. Ever since I entered The Magic Shop I don't want to get out.

Then day by day I started to see their message to the world, the struggles they have been through and I didn't fell alone anymore.

Because of BTS I made goals for my life and I decided that I wanted to be happy and have a life that I want to have. I now live by the motto "The way we spend our times defines who we are". And now I am happy everyday because they helped me see the world in another pespective and I can now believe in myself and in all I can do. I started dancing again and I started the journey of loving myself and started to love living more everyday and hopefully achieve my dreams. And to remind myself of that I just look up to the sky whenever I can and I now know I'm not alone and I can now create my future.

And yes, I used BTS and each member to love myself. I love them individually for a specific reason, each of them gave me something to work on and, I love them as BTS because they are not BTS if they are not together.

They showed to me when I needed the most even thought I didn't t know it, and till this day I am truly grateful for their existence. When they smile, when they cry, when they laugh they save my soul. And because they shine the brightest I smile the most.

This seven angels were destined to appear in my life and they gave me the strength to give my life a reason. And I love them with my everything and I am truly grateful for them being in this world.

They gave me the best of me and I will keep suporting them no matter what, so they keep giving the best of them.

I might not have been to a concert yet, I hope it happens but until then I will always be here supporting them and if it never happens I will still be here. I am not going anywhere like they didn't when I needed them.

I purple you.