Magic Mirror #2

Magic Shop 🇺🇸

Hi! I'm Shahmeen and I am from USA 🇺🇸 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I was a girl with a normal life. I didn't get into a lot of trouble, and I was pretty good altogether. When I was just 8 years old, I was introduced to BTS by my crazy obsessed cousins. I kinda liked it. I would listen to it with my cousins, and we'd stream. When I left I still listened to it, but not as much. I started to loose touch with them, and eventually forgetting about them.

A new virus came called "COVID." It was really dangerous and scary. We had to stay home from school. I was in fourth grade then. As we came nearer to the end of the school year, I started to become more aggressive and sad. It was all a confusing phase, but I labeled it as my "depression phase." I would cry every night, I didn't like it when things weren't my way, and I would yell and scream at my parents. I would get lectured often. They said they understood what I was going through, but they didn't. They really did not.

A month went by and I started crying more and more. No one would know about my breakdowns. Only my friends. My friends tried to help me with my confidence and mental health, but there was no use. One day I was scrolling on YouTube and I saw a video. I decided to click on it, curious on what would come up.it was an interview with them. It was funny. I would rewatch it almost every day. I eventually wanted to learn their names, learning that they were a group I liked a while ago. It was as if something brought them back to me.

I started watching more and more videos on YouTube of them being cute and listened to their music a lot. I grew obsessed. But my parents took them away from me.. I listened in secret and sometimes even at 1am. I needed to listen to them. They were everything to me. They were the reason I smile everyday. But it was taken away..

They told me so many times that I shouldn't listen to BTS, but I couldn't help myself. I had to. I couldn't just leave them like that. I can't automatically let go. I tried reasoning with them but it was still a no. I started listening in secret more and more.

During the very end of 2020, my family decided we were gonna visit our cousins after two years. During that time, Dynamite was out. It was a nice song. I listened to them more freely in my cousin's room and sometimes during zoom classes. They made me happy. My parents found out though, and told me to stop. I didn't. I kept going, knowing I would need them in the future too. And I was right.

Fast forward to June 2021. Summer had finally started. I had decided that my summer goal was to tell my parents why BTS meant so much to me and still do. I talked to them both separately, and they both listened to me. "They taught me how to love myself, and they help me gain self confidence," we're some of the words I said to my parents. They said I could listen to them. They promised they weren't going to take them from me again. I was the happiest person alive. This meant a lot to me...

I can't love myself yet. I still see flaws and hate them. Though I have a hard time loving myself, I'm still learning. One day I will truly love myself and others, the right way.