Magic Mirror #2

My Most Beautiful Moment In Life 🇻🇳

Hi! I'm Noah and I am from Vietnam 🇻🇳 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I'm privileged. That's the first thing that popped up when I think of my life. I have a house with a room for myself, my own car that I can drive to school with, a motorbike along with anything one can hope for in life. I have a wonderful family, my parents shower me and my sisters with love and mostly, if not always, respect my choices and boundaries.

My sisters are ARMYs as well and with that we share with each other stories of our own experiences with BTS. I don't have to worry about university fees, living fees and so on since my parents are providing for me until I'm finished with my higher education, by going abroad to study if possible, and until I get a decent job. With all that, I thought my life could not be happier.

However, as life always entails, one must suffer one way or another. My family was not always this close. Having almost nothing growing up, my mother had to work multiple jobs at once to provide for her family and pay the debts that her mother and brothers left behind while still enrolling in highschool and university. Sexism was very much, and still is a problem in the Vietnamese society.

After marrying my father, a former military staff and then a police officer, she had to work even harder due to certain circumstances concerning my father's side of the family, and also to help provide for my older sister, who is the child of my father and his previous wife and her two young children, me and my sister. So, more often than not, I was leave to be alone for most of my childhood, not that I didn't enjoy it, but this somehow, I assume, has taken a toll on my ability to communicate when I grow up.

The first thing I noticed was that, I don't have many friends. Ever since elementary school up to secondary school, I was very much an outcast. It's not that I don't make an effort to make friends, well, I tried. However, for some reason those efforts are usually mistaken for jealousy, arrogance, ignorance and sometimes just plain crudeness and after the first few tries, I was discouraged enough to stop trying.

The first incidences of bullying that happened to my awkward self, was back in secondary school, when all of the girls get together in one play group and the boys in the other. I wanted to fit in and play with my classmates so bad that when a girl, the "leader" of the group brought up the idea of asking someone to go to the cafeteria and buy water for everyone else (of course all of them chipped in), I volunteered. Innocent young me must have thought that by volunteering (as tribute, I could score a mark in front of the girls or something and with that they will let me be, I was not doing so great in studying, either.

I failed to understand (and still to this day), the basic principles of maths and physics and my teacher once told me that I should know my place and don't think too highly of myself as I was writing the name of the high-school I wished to enroll onto my balloon on graduation day. Well, one is allow to dream
(eventhough I did, indeed, scored enough to enroll in that school). And with that, I lost my hope to find somewhere I belong to along with my self-esteem, entirely, up until the high-school years.

I, for some odd reason, managed to create a friend group and we played with each other for almost the entirety of my high-school life. While my friends have other friends though, I did not. And all the time I have to myself, I think about many things, animes and mangas and Levi-heichou. And also, I must mention, how lonely I feel eventhough I have a lot of people around me, too many really, considering the amount of time I felt overwhelmed when I have to communicate with them. This leads us to one of the things that I feared the most in my life, which is socializing. I would be afraid of doing the basic things and just talking to people in general, unnecessary scared me.