Magic Mirror #2

I'm Finally Home 🇺🇸

Hi! I'm Fia and I am from USA 🇺🇸 and THIS IS MY STORY.

To begin with this story, I was born in 2009 in America. I was born into a pretty wealthy family, but it wasn't as happy as it seemed on the outside. in that household, there was harsh judgement, and what felt like suffocating, it felt as I couldn't say anything, or I wouldn't be able to breathe.

When I was about 6-7 years old, I had already heard of this band, BTS- but I hadn't payed much attention to it. By the time I was about 9, I knew that BTS was a famous Kpop boy band from korea.

but when I was 8 years old, that's when everything just went- downhill.

At the age of 8 years old, I started losing my hair due to this fungus I got from cats. Losing my hair just stressed me out badly, because of it, I was bullied, people gave me looks, and even at home, there would be some hurtful comments about it. It upset me for quite a while, but luckily I was able to grow hair back with medicine I took, still- that didn't stop my stress. I was still being compared to other students by my parents and heard the same words constantly ringing in my head- "why can't you get grades like her?" "he does better in piano than you, why can't you be like that?"

Those words pained me to constantly hear. but this? it didn't affect me as much as it did when I was 9, although I had to go through all of that in 3rd grade, I met someone really special, and she plays a very important part of this story. I'm truly thankful for meeting my amazing cousin, Mal.

The comparing continued into fourth grade, and it still hurt more than it did in 3rd, about 4-6 months (can't remember) into 4th grade, everything just started getting worse, and this? this is when I felt like giving up everything.

Why I felt like giving up everything? it was my parents once again. Well, I don't think I should give too much information as this is pretty personal, but what happened with your parents you may ask- they fought about politics and they were on two different sides. I vividly remember the fights that they'd have in front of me while I'd be doing my homework, but what affected me the most about their fights was this one big one they had. This big fight of theirs traumatized me, as they were throwing stuff around and yelling.

I was scared and terrified.

I didn't want them to split. I cried as I saw broken ceramics lying on the floor, and the sound of fragile plates crashing onto the hard ground, food landing everywhere. Didn't feel safe whatsoever.

This is when I truly realized how empty i felt.

The next morning, they apologized to me individually, but I never saw them apologize to each other. After that, they acted as if nothing had happened. Still, they continued to fight about politics sometimes but it wasn't as bad as that big fight.

still, I just felt empty.

Luckily, I had my two best friends I relied on to make me feel safe, one of them being the special person I met in 3rd grade and as the fourth grade year continued, parents still fought (less than before), and it became normal- yet I really had no motivation to try anything.

In april of 2019, I was scrolling through my YouTube feed. A very popular video with millions of views, called "BTS (방탄소년단) '작은 것들을 위한 시 (Boy With Luv) (feat. Halsey)' Official MV" came up on my recommendations. it was only released a few days ago, and I was surprised about how popular it had gotten. The bright scenery of the cover of the music video caught my eye, and I decided to click on it.