Magic Mirror #2

I Didn't Think Life Was Worth It 🇺🇸

Hi! I'm TheEyeSunshine and I am from USA 🇺🇸 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I grew up in the foster care system since I was young, I don't remember much of it all I knew is that I was in a place where I wasn't supposed to be that didn't feel like home with my other two siblings. I don't know how long I was there for, or why I was there but I soon got adopted by the age of 6-7 years old by a Caucasian family as I am African.

They adopted a lot of African kids and like any child in the foster care system you would think your new parents would take care of you? They did yes but they where they the ideal or perfect family. Almost weekly/monthly we would get physically abused mostly the African boys. Yelled at and called names by our own parents but we always brushed it off because we knew-no thought that we loved them.

I could of opened up about it a lot to my teachers but it wasn't everyday that this would happen. We all regret not opening up about it now. We could tell that our 'parents' treated us a lot differently from their own biological children. We just couldn't understand why they hated us so we assumed they where racist, a lot of times and kept excusing their behavior.

By the time I was sixteen I began to notice how my mother was more verbally abusive and tried to get our brother in jail on multiple occasions. I was verbally abused for my attitude and the way I talked because I hated how everyone treated me. I began closing myself within the room I shared with my sisters, one already kicked out because she wouldn't listen to our mothers insane rules. She was mean, manipulative, and a narcissist.

She cheated on our 'father' on multiple occasions and treated us like dirt blaming all her problems on us. Then with both of them split we had to live with her and our lives only got worse. She spoke bad about us behind our backs had a relationship with a man that was anything but healthy and it was around 2018 that I discovered BTS.

I listen to their music and read the subtitles of their songs that I could relate too so much. They where my escape goat. I thought of suicide only a couple of times and only one time I thought about going through with it. I obviously couldn't, I mean I still do now and I'm sorry if the topic is triggering.

Though these men reminded me of family, what it means to actually communicate and have fun and realize it's okay to go through hard times.

They made me believe I can actually become who I want to be instead of just laying down and admitting defeat. I still struggle to pick myself back up after everything I went through, I cut of my mother, I soon will follow cutting off my father after I'm done with college and pursue my dreams as a graphic designer just like the boys did with their own.

So many people knock them down so hard but they come back stronger, they are my inspiration to keep going no matter how hard the path may be and I can't wait to personally thank them when I can. Whether it be at a concert or a fan meet, thank you Bangtan Boy's.