Magic Mirror #2

A Painful Start 🇵🇭

Hi! I'm Louisse and I am from the Philippines 🇵🇭 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I'm a teenage girl who lives in Philippines. I am Adopted. My real mom aka my adoptive dad's sister, had two children, but both dad's didn't wanna take them. So did my own dad. I don't know how he look, how he smell, how he talk, where he's from, nothing. My real dad left right after my mom got pregnant.

How I knew about this?? When I was 4-5 years old someone from where I am, used to tease me that I'm adopted. I didn't want to believe it so I asked my mom about it. She told me I wasn't adopted, I believed her, but the teasing didn't stop so I asked my mom about it again, and she finally told me.

I am adopted.

She explained it to me but she told me later on that I wouldn't understand because I'm still a child, but I understood really well. I wanted to cry but I knew well enough I didn't wanna cry in front of her, in front of anybody.

As I grew up I felt depressed.

I felt that there's favoritism at our household, my mom notices everything I do wrong, even the slightest thing. But when my brother make a bigger mistake there's no intense scolding from her. I felt that, it's because he's her real son. But everytime she scolds me I tried to understand that 'I'm just adopted I shoud be thankful for everything and things like that.

I tried hurting myself but I knew I couldn't, because I can't cover it up. I had so many arguments with my brother that I even threatened him I'm leaving or I'd point a knife to myself, but he always stop me from doing so. My mom doesn't know about any of this, nor do we want to tell her.

I cried myself to sleep, I locked myself in my room and cry and go out like nothing happened, I've poured out my feeling by doodling nonsense on a piece of paper, images of suicide ran through my mind, and so on. But one thing that happened just changed everything.

My brother left me with his girl friends and they were watching something. I asked what was it and they told me it was BTS. I asked about them, search things about them, listened to all their music, follow them almost at every social media platforms, read articles, and so on.

And by the time I watched Namjoon's speech at UNICEF, i knew he meant it. I tried to learn the lessons they've taught everyone. And I did.

My point of view just became brighter,
They became my inspiration.

Every time I try to think how do I divert myself from falling back into depression, they come running through my mind. No words are enough to express how thankful I am to them coming into my life.

After that I've tried telling and teaching my friends this lessons that I've learned from them. Now everytime I'm down or sad, I knew who I could get my happiness back from. Them.