Magic Mirror #2

Namjooning 🇲🇾

Hi! I'm Syahmimi and I am from Malaysia 🇲🇾 and THIS IS MY STORY.

Back then I am clueless, a dramatic child who they call 'too pure for the world'. I won't call the world 'bad' or 'tainted' because I think it's depend on us. Anyway, when I was still a kid, my fourth brother love Kpop. He was a V.I.P, every music video and every song was in my mom's laptop. At that time, the said gadget was our only source of joy as my parents won't allow us to have any. We had a desktop but well, those only contains several online games and have no internet connection. Like, at all! That being said, I was an always bored girl. Kindergarten was great but I either didn't live near my friends or my neighbors can't go out that day.

During that gloomy day, I always play the laptop, watching youtube and whatnot and one day, I decided to explore the folders in there. You know what happened next, I found a certain person folder full of songs and MVs and some interview of sorts. I opened it, no doubt. And somehow, I memorize a certain song lyrics and I was stuck, just like that.

The next few months I kind of sang it while at kindergarten and yes, it's a good memories. That time my kindergarten had some kind of graduation day and I did messed up some lyrics and choreo for my performance because, It just happen? (Yeah, it's because I won't stop listening to BigBang and not my practice.)

Nine years old.

My family moved to somewhere far, and I bit my last goodbye to my once friends. During that period, I haven't watch any Kpop related things that much, I was more into Kdramas and variety show (Running Man, I'm talking about you ˎ₍•ʚ•₎ˏ) and I also interested in Cdramas/Cpop more (I was an EXO-L that time and Luhan was my bias so...). After I went to my new school, I found out that half of the girls in the class loves Kpop but being me, I don't really talk with them hence I thought I will just enjoy life.

I them talked about some new groups they stan and I figured I'd find it but didn't really tell the girls. Well, yeah, I did. I enjoy listening to the groups but with me being a kid, I thought I can't love another group because I was still an Aeri that time (I don't know why I even tthought like that but hey, I'm a kid, you know...)

Ten years old.

I finally come across the term of multifandom/multistan and goodness gracious I am GLAD I did.

Eleven years old.

2016 marked my second year of being an ARMY (and knowing what a multistan is), my first song being Boy In Luv, somehow. I remembered scrolling YouTube that day, bored because I don't want to go out (I am too introverted and too lazy to because we moved in to a quarters there and I lived in the third floor with no elevator) and a few days before I was just stalking said group. Perk of being a curious nine years old, I am now a part of a big BIG family. Guess who attract the living soul out of me? No, yeah, KIM NAMJOON! and I remember this specific WWH named KIM SEOKJIN (why is it the Kims that always attract me?)

BUT

When I was a ten years old (or nine) I swear I don't know how my brain work but I promised myself I will never like Jin because he is the most handsome amongst the rest (according to my 'Jinius' mind I have this weird opinion that you can't trust and to NEVER trust a handsome man that stands out most to you, I don't know, I wish I ain't that weird I swear) and so I don't focus on him.

AND

For goodness sake I only know a month prior that HE is the one of the least liked members (bruh, I was an idiot, I despise myself so much that time lol). My bias is the whole Rap Line that time and after finding out (I don't know how I lived but I never register the fact) that he is the oldest member despite me remembering their birthday.

YET AGAIN

Now I can't choose any bias at all. They are too precious, I can't decide and even if I am too decide, I will change it again the next day, or the next hours (you guys know what I mean... right..? ●˙^˙● )

WAIT!

Okay, so although my first song is Boy In Luv and that is cute but the song that set me straight (I'm not) to stan them is in fact, N.O because of the lyrics (because I grew in a quiet religious family and my dad won't allow me to sing a song in another language without knowing the meaning) and it hit me hard.

Mostly because I was (still am) supposed to be the perfect daughter that top class in any specific way. I go through my ups and downs being the only daughter with four older and two younger brothers and they do motivate me from time to time. They helped me a lot and being an ARMY is truly a good change in my life. That is, my favourite part of life and forever will be.