Magic Mirror #2

Blue Butterfly 🇺🇸

Hi! I'm Kylie and I am from USA 🇺🇸 and THIS IS MY STORY.

I'm 19 years old and I've been an ARMY since I was 13 years old. when I was 11, I didn't wanna live, I wanted to end it all and just give up. I went to the hospital twice because of suicide. The first time was because I swallowed pills and tried to overdose, the second time was because I tried slashing my wrists DEEP. When I hit 13, I started to fall deeper into that trench and barely anyone could get me out of it.

I had a few friends, they helped me out sometimes, but they weren't always there so I just felt alone most of the time. However, one day in choir class, a girl came up to me (let's call her Keisha) and said "hey, you like Kpop right?" before BTS, I loved another Kpop group so she knew me because of that. I told her I do love Kpop and she asked me if I knew who BTS was. I shook my head no and she gave me a look of disgust but she showed the music video for fire.

Fire was my first song from BTS, and I'm mad at my 2015 self for not finding anything special about them, but anyways, I went home that day, not really caring, but a week or so later, I found myself sitting in class trying to remember their name, so after a week of trying to figure it out, I saw Keisha again and asked her what's the name of the group was, she told me "BTS. why? YOU'RE STARTING TO LIKE THEM NOW??" and I straight up told her "yes, I am."

Maybe a month or so after I met BTS, I tried to commit suicide yet again, the overwhelming thoughts of "no one cares about you, so why should you care about yourself?" - started to sink in and I couldn't handle it anymore and I tried to swallow pills again, however, before I could, I got a youtube notification saying that a BTS/Kpop lyrics account i subscribed to posted a new video called "butterfly (BTS)- lyrics" I tried to ignore it, but something was telling me to click on the video, so I ended up clicking it.

As the song was playing, I was listening to the melody, the tone, and the emotions in their voices. I was also reading the english translations to the lyrics and I broke down crying in my bathroom realizing that butterfly was about the fear of losing a loved one so near and dear to you.

I cried so hard that night that I couldn't breathe or think or sleep. That's the night I became a TRUE ARMY. I listened to them more, learned more about each member, and started to fall in love with them and the group and their music. They became my life, my reasons for living. I slowly started to change my mindset about myself and I slowly started to love myself and started to become proud of myself, my accomplishments, and who I was.

They helped me love myself in ways no one else could help me love myself. They are my seven guardian angels that LITERALLY saved me.

There are no words that can describe my gratitude and love for you, but I can say this: thank you BTS for saving me that night... I love you so much.