High On Love #2 (English)

Wh--What?

I didn't sleep that night, not at all. The only thing I could think about was Marshall and his side of the bed that was going to be empty for 3 weeks. I stared up at the ceiling, sobbing, while I slowly turned around towards Marshall, who was asleep beside me. I stroked him gently on the cheek, so he wouldn't wake up because of me.

"I'm going to miss you so much ..." I whispered with a tearful voice, I smiled when I saw he got the familiar twitch in his left eye. He turned to me in his sleep, I lay down on the pillow again and stared at him. With tears running constantly now. 

Man up, Jessica! He isn't dead !! I yelled inside my head. I sniffled and wiped my face for tears, I tried to be as quiet as possible, but some sob escaped my lips. I laid closer to him and it was as if he knew it, he pulled me to him in a hug.

"I won't stop asking if you won't tell me what's wrong ..." I jumped when I heard his voice, but calmed down when I felt him stroking my back soothing.

"It's nothing ..." I sobbed, this was going well ... "I'm fine." I sniffled, I should get an oscar of my talent now. Oh my God...

Marshall pulled himself farther away from me to meet my gaze, he looked at me seriously, but comforting.

"I ain't dumb, I can see something's wrong... Tell me." He kissed me on the cheek, he knew I was weak for him when he did that, but right now everything was completely gone. I felt like a stone, a stone that was leaking what was left inside the hard shell.

"I can't sleep..." I just said, and met his blue eyes, it was a mistake. As soon as I met his gaze, I cracked and tears flowed. He got big, caring eyes and pulled me up to him again.

"Hey ... Shhh ... Jessica? What's wrong ??" I heard consolation and turmoil in his voice and looked up to meet his gaze.

"I'm going to miss you, Marshall! So damn much! It's unbearable! Thinking about you, hearing your voice on the radio, see your face everywhere I go and knowing you will be gone for three weeks. I have to sleep in your house, in your bed, with your smell everywhere, alone! And Haillie, she reminds me so much of you ..."

"Jessica ..." He began and stroked away hair that had attached itself to my teary face.

"I have you as wallpaper, I wear clothes with your face on, I even use your clothes! It's not enough! I need you, I love you ... Oh my god I love you so much, it hurts! Why are you famous ?? Why can't you just be mine..." I felt selfish for thinking like that, I'd known from the beginning this was going to be hard, but not that it would be this hard. I held my face in my hands, tears flowed from my eyes and I was sobbing like crazy.

"Jessica, calm down--"

"No! I love you! I don't want you to leave me! Please stay! I love you !!" I know I'm childish right now, but I don't want him to go, I don't!

"Jessica ..! I won't leave you ..."

"I love you so much ..." I looked at him one last time, but then I just couldn't do any longer. I stood up from the bed and fell to the floor. I wept and tore myself in my hair.

I heard Marshall's feet hit the floor and heard his footsteps approaching. I sobbed even more when I felt his arms around me.

"Jessica, baby ... I won't leave you. Please, don't cry ... It tears me apart to see you like this."

"Don't leave me ..." I turned to him and our lips met. "Please ..." I pulled him closer to me, he shook his head and let go of the kiss.

"I won't cancel, you know that. But, Jessica ... Just ask me."

"Ask--" I sniffed again. "Ask what?" I squeaked and met his eyes. He was crying, his eyes were red and heavy with sorrow. He chuckled a little at my shocked expression.

"I told you, you tear me apart when you look like this ..." He sniffed and smiled kindly to me before he continued. "If you want, you can come with me."

"WH--What? What about Haillie ??" I asked anxious and wiped my tears.

"She's going on a roadtrip with her best friend and her parents for 5 weeks when we leave." I looked into his eyes and grabbed him in a hug.

"Can I come with you ?? Please !!" I asked as a little child, he smiled and kissed my forehead before he met my gaze.

"Of course. You think you'll be able to actually sleep now?" He asked with a grin, I smiled back while I wiped the tears and met his gaze again.

"Nope."

"What do you want now?" He asked, stood up and yawned while shaking his head at me frustrated, I got up after him without losing his gaze. I brought my hands up his chest until I came to his neck and pulled him down towards me to our lips met again. He smiled, lifted me up and kissed me once more before he ler go of the kiss. He met my gaze with raised eyebrows and a grin. "You women are so manipulating when you really want something, you know that?" He said and chuckled. I smiled and pushed him down on the bed.

"Of course I know that, what do you think I'm doing?" He smiled, waved me to him and I didn't hesitate.