My Janitor [Jessie J] *COMPLETED* (UNDER EDITING)

My Lover | 19. Changed

From all the time I've spent up here thinking, I came to a conclusion. I'm an idiot. For making Jessie cry for something that I realized wasn't her fault. She didn't ask my dad to kill himself and burn down our house. Jessie isn't like that. And I came on to her when I was at high school. I was the one who kissed her first. I was the one who came to her house, asking her to stay there. I was the main one making all these advances on her, because it would look all wrong if our roles were switched, if she was the one making advances on me.

Then I left her crying, probably furious at me. I shrugged on my jacket and stepped outside in the windy air. All the lights were off in the house except the one I had to go through to get to the roof. I climbed back down the stairs and blindly made my way to the living room, where the lamp was lit. I planned to sleep down here to give Jessie space, but someone was already up there.

Jessie was on the couch, curled up under a small blanket, fast asleep. I sighed. She always put me before herself, no matter what the situation. It's one of the things I love and hate about her.

As I pushed back the blanket, I noticed something in her hand. A photo, to be more specific. I carefully extracted it from her hand and examined it. It was Jessie and I when we went to our first fair as a couple. Now that I'm looking at it, we have changed a lot. Jessie, even naturally pale, seemed to have gotten more paler. Her eyes twinkled less than they used to. And I think she has another tattoo, if I remember correctly.

My eyes tore away from the photo to the sleeping Jessie. One of her arms has a tattoo of a ring of fire or something going around her upper arm, which was what she's been having. I went to the other arm and lifted it up carefully, as to not wake up Jess. And I saw it, on her wrist. A 'J' and an 'S' in a heart. It didn't take a genius  to figure out what it stood for. She must have gotten it in prison, because I've never seen it properly until now.

I sat the picture of younger US on the coffee table, then stooped down to push my arms under Sleeping Beauty. Using my strength that I forget was there, I picked her up and held her in my arms bridal style, her head resting on my shoulder.  Then I carried her to the bedroom, which was a long way to go, but I had no difficulty carrying her up the stairs or anything. She was so light it scared me. She should probably eat more to gain some weight back.

Finally at the room, I pushed back the covers and laid Jessie back down. She stirred in her sleep, but didn't wake up. I tucked her in then kissed her forehead before leaving to go back downstairs to the couch, where I'm sure I'll have more nightmares.

~

"Jessie, go away!" I screamed to Jessie, who worked her way in the burning house, not protected whatsoever.

"No! I love you too much, Syd! I'm here to save you!" Jessie exclaimed proudly, helping me up.

Instead of protesting, I just held her hand and ran to the door. Falling pieces of the roof in flames kept blocking us, but we jumped over. And it wasn't until we reached the door that we were finally stopped. Wooden beams fell onto Jessie, trapping her.

"JESSIE NO!" I cried, dropping to the ground and holding her hand.

"Sydney, just go. Please."

"No! I'm not going anywhere without you! I'll die here with you!"

"People need you, Syd! I love you so much, okay? Just remember that."

And with surprising strength, Jessie pushed me out of the burning house just before it exploded, killing her...

Suddenly, my eyes opened to be met with glossy green ones. Didn't I put her to bed a while ago?

"I heard you crying," she said, softly.

"I wasn't that loud," I said in an equally quiet voice.

Jessie reached up to wipe my tears from my face. "I know. But I felt it, somehow."

We stared at each other for a few moments, not saying anything. Until I said,

"Jessie, I'm so sorry for blaming you for something you didn't do. You didn't ask for my dad to help burn the house down. I'm an idiot, and I shouldn't have yelled at you."

"Syd, it's okay, I swear. You were in an emotional state, and I totally get it. I don't blame you." She smiled, pushing her hair behind her ear.

"Still, it wasn't right--"

"It's in the past, baby. Besides, you have other stuff to worry about."

I sat up and stretched my sore body. "Like what?"

"Your job. Domino's let you loose. We can't have all this money without one of us having a job. It'll be too suspicious."

"All what money?" I asked.

Jessie sat up, too, smiling a little. "For starters the insurance company for the house paid us for the damage. And then your dad's life insurance...he entitled you to some money. I think the most out of you, your mom, and your sister."

"...What?!"

"And then your divorce with Stephen. Your mom fixed everything, and you got half. Babe, you have, like, a little fortune now!"

No way. This was a lot to process, and my head began to hurt. I never knew Dad had life insurance. I never knew Jessie had house insurance. And I definitely didn't think I would get a penny from the divorce. Two women without any job has loads of money.

"Then we can pay for the house!" I exclaimed.

"It's already done, Syd. Don't worry about anything. The doctor says you need rest."

Jessie got up from the couch and slowly pushed me in a lying position. "Breakfast?"

"No--actually yeah," I said, once I heard my stomach growl lowly.

Jessie smiled and kissed my cheek, but I grabbed her wrist.

"I really am sorry. I swear, you have the right to hit me if I ever do it again."

"I would never hit you, because I would never be like Stephen, baby."