My Janitor [Jessie J] *COMPLETED* (UNDER EDITING)

Her Own | 18. Depression

"Syd, are you coming?" Jessie called from downstairs.

I was in the same spot I was in for most of the Summer, in our bed. Complete depression has token over my body. I haven't seen sunlight for ages. I haven't even seen Hazel that much. My body's weak, and I only get up to go to the bathroom.

They tried to say my sister died that night she had woken up and talked to us. But, she was right there, I touched her and everything. And she was talking to us! But they rewinded the camera back that they had in her room, that checked for disturbances. They clearly saw everything, that she wasn't dead or anything.

"But, can you hear it?" The doctor asked as Jessie cried into my shoulder.

"Hear what?" I frustratedly asked, running a hand through my hair.

"The heart monitor. Listen closely."

I did as he told, and I heard it. It wasn't the steady beat that notified that she was alive. It was the flat line, the noise nobody wants to hear. And I broke down then and there.

It was impossible. How could that have happened? Jessie told me she heard it that night, but assumed the patient's next door was too loud. But, no. It was Delilah's. My Delilah's. My own sister's life was taken by some horrible person that just wanted Jessie back...

Again, I had blamed Jessie for this, like a terrible person I was. I was mean to her, shouted insults at her, and ignored her a lot. But when the news announced Rachel's death, I stayed silent. Jessie cried again, but I stayed in my room.

I heard footsteps close to the room and didn't do anything to make it seem I wanted to go. Because I didn't want to go. I just wanted to wallow in my own depression and bad mood.

"Syd...Baby, you can't stay like this forever," Jessie said, walking into the room. "Delilah wouldn't want this."

"Delilah's dead," I growled to her.

"Babe, this is unhealthy. You can't sit here all day."

"I have and I'll continue to."

"Sydney, I haven't touched or kiss you in over a month! Hazel keeps asking where you were at, when you're here all along! You need to stop acting like this!"

I turned around so I didn't face her. She was starting to annoy me, something I would have never thought possible.

"Sydney, you smell. Very badly. You need a shower."

"Don't come near me!" I hissed, hiding under the blankets.

Instead, they were ripped off me, and Jessie came near me. I started to scream, but she ignored me and pulled me off the bed. Continuing my tantrum, I was hauled off to our ensuite, then thrown in the bathtub. Jessie turned on water, which hit me hard, and I squealed like I was being hurt.

"This is for your own good!" Jessie said, taking off my clothes.

I wrestled with her to keep them on, and she had to get in the tub also. The shower head sprayed both of us with warm water as Jessie continued taking off all my clothes without consent.

Soon I was completely naked, with a soaked Jessie leaning over me. She was panting in my face, not caring about her clothes. I just glared at her while I covered myself up with my arms and hands. Jessie stood up carefully, then got a bottle of shower gel and a wash cloth. My body froze as she applied the gel into the cloth, and began washing my body herself. She fought with me to open my arms and legs, but eventually succeeded. I stared at Jessie as she bathed me, still in her clothes, watching me.

As she sat up a little from washing the lower part if my body, something cold and wet and hard hit me in my forehead. I hissed in pain, rubbing the spot, before I looked up to see what it was. It was the necklace I gave her so long ago. I sat up more and grasped the pendent so I could look at it longer.

Jessie stopped what she was doing, and I felt her eyes on me. We both ignored the water dripping off the both of us, and I ignored the soap on my body. My gaze found Jessie's as she took a hand and caressed my cheek. This was the longest we've made eye-contact in a while. And I guess Jessie didn't want to waste any time, because she leaned in slowly until her lips touched mine.

The same feeling I always get when I kiss her arose. I kissed her back, wrapping my arms around her neck, and I felt her press her body into mine. At the moment, I was fine with it. All I cared about was kissing her and her kissing me. Until the memories came back. The night we were at the hospital, and she rejected me...when Delilah talked to us...when we found out she was dead...

I pushed Jessie off of me and scrambled out of the tub with Jessie calling after me. I ran into the room and grabbed a jacket, slipping it on as I ran out the room. My legs carried me out the house and into the backyard, where the pool was. I ran past it and into some bushed, where I curled up into a ball and cried.

A/N: Annnnnnnd, there goes the happiness. :(