My Janitor [Jessie J] *COMPLETED* (UNDER EDITING)

My Lover | 18. Hatred

My own dad was involved in attempted murder. That's what I learned over the course of two days. He hated Jessie, absolutely despised her. For "ruining my happy ending". Same with Stephen, but Stephen didn't care about my happiness. And now, my dad's dead.

It came as a shock to me and I didn't speak for a while, even when I couldn't speak. But now I can, and I have nothing to say about it. I was speechless. How could a father be so blind in what was making his daughter happy? My mom even tried to explain that to him. Being hard-headed really has its negatives.

Unfortunantly, Stephen made it. And he was lurking about, no doubt waiting for me to get out.

Jessie, my beautiful, loving, caring Jessie...She never left my side, aside from checking on my mom. She's such a sweetheart, helping me out, getting me things I wanted or needed, and just being herself. She told stories about her childhood I never heard of, and it's a wonder how her clumsiness has never changed.

"You really could never stand right  on your two feet," I giggled, running my hands through her hair.

"The perks of being me."

"I like you. You're cute. Oh and you know what else is cute?" I asked.

"What?" She asked.

"The little baby that'll be here, of course!"

Jessie's whole mood dropped. She wasn't smiling anymore, a look of grief struck her across her face. She reached in her hair and got my hands and held them. A lone tear slipped out of her eye and down her cheek. My heart dropped at the sudden mood change.

"No..."

"Baby, I am so sorry. Stress. The fire. The coma." Jessie bit onto her bottom lip.

"No...this can't be happening. You're lying."

A dark look crossed her at that moment. "How dare you accuse me of lying! You know I don't lie and I absolutely hate lying!"

"Jess, I'm sorry. It's just..." The waterworks came, and Jessie didn't hesitate in pulling me for a hug.

"It wasn't your fault," she told me. "You were just being a good mother. He was being a jerk. He deserves to go away."

"But, I knew how much you've always wanted a family--" I started.

"That doesn't matter," she interrupted. "At least, not right now. You're the only one that matters. I'm only concerned about you."

She kissed my forehead. "You did nothing wrong, baby. There are just bad people in the world--"

"My dad's not a bad person," I said. Why was I standing up for him? "He just had insecurities."

"I know, baby. But now's not the time for you to think about that. You need to rest so you can be out of this place. Okay?"

I nodded. She smiled and settled back in her seat.

~

The next few days I stayed at the hospital, I swore I was in depression. And it seems I was right, because the doctor backed me up. It was mild for the moment, especially since I kept having nightmares about the fire. Some ended in me dying and seeing my funeral. Others were of Stephen and my dad coming into the burning house and killing me themselves. And lots ended in Jessie coming in to save me, killing herself instead.

"I had the dream again," I muttered to Jessie.

"And what happened?" She asked.

"You died," I replied, hopelessly.

"Oh. Syd, you know I love you, right?"

I nodded slowly. "Why'd you ask?"

"I just wanted to make sure you knew." She gave me a smile, but I couldn't return it.

"Baby, you'll be able to see Toby and Lucy and Kirby again tomorrow," she said, no doubt, in an attempt to cheer me up. She has such a sweet soul, and I wanted to be alone, but I didn't have the heart to tell her that.

Yet, she was right. I was released from the hospital the next day, and Jessie asked where I wanted to go. My response was our new home. I haven't gotten adjusted to that yet, and maybe I can find myself somewhere private to grieve. My dad just died. Because of Jessie. She knew that, that's why she doesn't like talking about it. She killed my dad. That's the only way I can reason it. He came to kill her, but he died instead. Why was he in the house? To kill off Jessie personally? Or was it a suicide mission?

Dad wasn't the saddest guy in the world. He had money, he had a loving family, he had a great job. So, why would he risk his life like that? For Jessie. He wanted to see and make sure she was permanently gone.

The drive took hours, but as soon as Jessie parked the car, I got out. I couldn't stand another second in there with that murderer.

"Hurry up," I growled, standing at the door. It was much chiller up here, since we'd moved north. I shivered in my jacket. And they called this summer?!

Jessie unlocked the door, but stood in my way. "Baby, what's wrong? You can talk to me."

"Just move," I said in a low tone. I didn't want to talk to her.

"Is it because of the baby? Syd, we can try as many times as you would like."

"You're the one who killed it," I blurted lowly.

"What?!"

"You killed my dad and the baby. He wouldn't have done that if you just stayed in your place."

Jessie started stuttering, tears rolling down her face. Was it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? Because that's what I'm feeling right now. Towards Jessie. The one who's stuck beside me since the first day we've met.

But, that was my dad. The one who raised me to be a strong girl. To stand up for myself, and let nobody get in the way of my dreams. And I was determined to do that. But, of course, my dreams were shattered ever since I married Stephen. I wanted to train to be in the Olympics. It was my dream since I was a child.

"HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!" She shrieked, sobbing.

I pushed my way into the house, ignoring the way my heart and stomach tightened painfully. The love of my life was crying because of something I had said.

Yet, I continued until I found myself on the deck on the top of the house. With wooden floors and a little room set up. I went into the room and sat in the chair in the room, then began to be lost in my thoughts, Jessie's sobs filling my head.

A/N: Don't hate meeeee!!!