REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
Designed a new character but want to know others thoughts on it? Want to get some tips on how to make a good character or to be pointed in the right direction? Well, you're in the right place! I'm here to check your guys' OCS an...
This book is getting more poplar than I ever expected it to, so thank you all. Here is a very interesting character by Bokukkokhmer
My comments will be in bold.
Basics and grounding / character information
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I think it's great that you've taken a lot of inspiration because they often make the most memorable characters, and I'm a sucker for mythology. This is the first time I've been given a character that's been resurrected. I like that she doesn't have the perfect body type and her personality is descriptive and realistic. The only thing I can really tell you to do is be careful with giving your character multiple forms. It can be seen as making your character overpowered, but since this is an original universe, I don't think this will be much of an issue.
Side-note: honestly what a book title. It's great.
Relationships
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I love it when people give me fleshed out character relationships because it shows me that a lot of effort has been put into the character. An unknown parent is very common, but can be done very well if written properly. If you have it so that she never finds out, that will make it more unique, since there's normally a big dramatic reveal having it be a mystery will keep it unique. Also be careful with the high school rivalry thing, it's common, but common for a reason because it's entertaining, so just try to avoid most clichés.
Backstory
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As long as it's fleshed out and developed well, this could be an incredible backstory. I'm not going to go searching for issues when there isn't really any. The story makes sense, just make sure you develop that final part because it seems very important. Especially how she discovers her abilities and how she gets into the school.
Other /stats
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I recommend being incredibly careful with making your character this strong, as they should be physically balanced to be a believable character. The advice I give for stats is have at least one that is lower than the rest, and only one that is a five at most, since most people seem to forget that a 5 means best of the best.
Final thoughts This character clearly has a lot of thought out into it, and as I have sayd in the past, characters from original universes are harder to critique then when they're from existing ones because there aren't any set rules, so I struggled to find many points of improvement. There are a few things that can be changed or developed, but overall it is a creative and interesting character, so good job!
*My critiques are simply at your request and to help improve your character. It is not my intention to cause any offence and you of course do not have to listen to what I've said. This us all just a bit of fun and I apologise if I have done any kind of damage*
